"RE-ARRANGING LIFE" in “LIFE IN THE TIMES OF CORONA: On A Mass Exile”

As cliche as this sounds, I agree with the notion that we tend to take so many things for granted. We often forget that nothing lasts forever. Everything may change at any second. Anything goes.

Even before the Covid-19 pandemic happened, I’d sort of dreaded the possibility – but also realized that sometimes, there’s only so much that you can do. Oftentimes, it’s inevitable. It’s bound to happen, one way or another.

If that’s the case, then the only thing anyone can do is just let go. Let it go. (Don’t sing it.)
Before The Covid-19 Pandemic:

I think I’ve taken a lot of things for granted. (Don’t we all do that at some point these days?) Long before the pandemic, I’d enjoyed so many things. I’m trying to do that again now and it’s not easy.

Hanging out in a public space without wearing a mask. I honestly miss doing that now. I sometimes forget to wear one. Of course, that never lasts long. Once I see people in public wearing them (although not all anymore), I quickly put mine on.

Hehe, I never forget to keep some spare masks in my bag.

By the way, I know the term ‘face diapers’ or “face nappies” is used as a bad joke here. Whoever finds this funny, you’re disgusting. Enough said.

I’ve also spent a large part of my life attending live concerts. I remember being 11 and begging my parents to let me watch Color Me Badd … and Bryan Adams a year after that.

Since then, I’ve lost count of the number of music concerts that I went to. Local and international artists. Solo musicians and bands. Boybands, rock bands, jazz bands – you name them. Single performances and festivals. Attending alone and with other people too.

How I miss those days …

2020 – The Very First Year of The Covid-19 Pandemic:

I’m not going to lie to you. It was easy and difficult at the same time. I’ve always loved the idea of working from home ( #WFH ). I don’t have to wake up super early to get everything ready for work unless there’s a deadline coming. I’ll just log in from my rented room – or some cafe nearby.

Back then, going out felt unusually scary. Everyone was wearing a mask and keeping their distance from each other. You’d get ugly stares in public for not doing the same thing.

At first, I thought I was okay with that. I figured that meant more time to read, write, and watch whatever I liked. That meant staying away from people I’d rather not see without lying to them or giving them false excuses why we couldn’t meet.

I admit, it was fun for a while …

… until it no longer was …

Then I started missing a lot of fun things I used to do. Hanging out with friends at a coffee shop. Attending poetry gigs. Going places. Traveling. Even my anxiety worsened on me too, when I learned that some friends had started disappearing on me …

… or just passed away.

2021 – The Second Year of The Covid-19 Pandemic: The Transition

I consider 2021 a struggle. First, I had to readjust to starting over with the real world out there. Going out and traveling again were filled with worry since the virus was still around and had multiplied.

I was still wearing a mask, out of real fear. Both my siblings caught Covid in a span of days. So did my two young nephews (my sister’s eldest sons).

It was a miracle that I’d been okay … so far. There were a few ‘scary episodes’ regarding similar symptoms, but the results were always negative. (Thank God!)

I started writing a novel out of randomness, a challenge proposed by a friend. For the first time ever in my life, I tried finishing a rom-com and I did.

It was also the year of major confusion. I lost a friend and another old one re-emerged from the dark. I thought I could write some more as I’d originally planned to.

Oh, well. Sometimes one can only do their best. Life goes on …

December 2022:

So, this year is almost over. I honestly feel like I haven’t achieved much. I know my friends will tell me not to be hard on myself. I thank them for that.

Still, I’m not going to lie to you: I am disappointed. I should’ve done so much more.

For now, I’m just going to finish work before the year-end holiday. Then I’ll be spending the long break with my family at home. My second nephew Gyan-ku has been asking me to have a “Wednesday” marathon with him.

Well, we’ll see. I’m curious about that myself.

I’m still trying to write more regularly, despite my busy schedule. I know it’s been a while since I last submitted something here.

I haven’t given up yet. It’s been a struggle to find the time, though.

R.