Scheduling Deforestation in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

I recently found out that part of the reason why I’ve had so many health problems recently is because I’ve drinking coffee that I’m allergic to. It’s so nice to realize that my seizures are a result of something simple like coffee.

My mother sent me a very large Christmas package filled with random goodies. It included a felt Christmas tree that I could hang on my wall. It was a nice gesture, but I figured that I’d made the admission that I was actually kind of into Christmas for once at the wrong moment. It did have some really nice stuff in it, as well as some really funny stuff. They had Golden Girls candy in the shape of the ear of Rose’s teddy bear, Fernando. That is some really deep-cut Golden Girls humor.

All of my social climbing has apparently paid off. This weekend is a continuation of the fetish event that I attended way back in August. The doctor has asked me 3 times if I’m coming and last night he finally confessed to me why. He’s getting me an invitation to the Red Room. The Red Room is the most exclusive sex club in Bangkok. Porn stars, famous Thai people and the rich all hang out at this club. I’ve only figured out a very small group of people who are in it, and I’ve hooked up with 5 of them.

Apparently, after the event, we have to get into a limousine (of which we have to be on a list). Inside the limo will be a personalized key of some sort that will give us access to the club.

The problem is, I’m a fucking mess right now. My foot has mostly healed but I still walk with a limp. I very much need a wax down there because it’s looking a little wild kingdom, if you know what I mean.

But I mean, it is what it is. This is what all my time in Hollywood has taught me. Grind and grind and then when your moment to shine comes, steal the spotlight and make a name for yourself. I guess this is the moment.

I don’t really know what is going to happen after this, but whatever it is, it’ll be great.