n 13 in idea barrages

  • Nov. 13, 2022, 6:58 a.m.
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  1. If the plural of “octopus” is “octopi” then logically the plural of “Jesus” is “Jesi”.

  2. People wonder what happened to Jon’s roommate Lyman from Garfield but now it can be told, he’s being held in the basement of the 7UP headquarters, an extract of his essence being their secret ingredient. He’ll never know death, he’ll never know peace, only lemon-lime refreshment.

  3. Blinded in an industral batter accident, the superhero The Waffler now perceives his surrounding through the process of eggolocation.

  4. I have no idea why I never wrote a parody of “Tomorrow” from ANNIE about the Superman foe Bizarro before. It seems like such an unforced error. “BIZARRO, BIZARRO, MAKE SOME SENSE, BIZARRO, JUST WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?”

  5. A Saint Patrick’s Day parody of Harry Belafonte’s “Jump The Line” involving the line “FAITH FAITH FAITH BEGORRAH”.

  6. The basketball player Cam Reddish has the name of a minor Star Wars side-character and you can’t tell me otherwise.

  7. Weirdly, the Moog synthesizer never synthesized a single Moog. It did make some pretty sounds, so they settled on marketing it as an instrument but, to this day, we have never perfected a synthetic Moog. We gotta settle for organic Moogs but, hey, we got some music out of it.

  8. Exhausted but relieved, your party has finally defeated the dread Donny Osmond. Oh no! He is a two-stage boss! He revives into his final demon form Osmondeus!


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