Update in My Life

Well. Nobody really reads this (except you, I think Salty!) but I thought I should note that we're all doing very well. G moved out on May 18th. The kids did amazing. We're doing really, really well. A new reality will start soon as he's basically seen the kids every day because of activities going on; that's been hard on me, because he's here, in the house, doesn't quite seem to realize he should drop off and leave, etc. I'm trying to be patient and spend most of the time biting my tongue. Despite saying his priority was the kids, he bought a $1000 sofa and tv, bed for himself, and when I offered for him to take them 1 night Mem Day wknd (my weekend, but we were "off" due to when I wanted the schedule to be), he said okay. And ended up NOT taking them that Thursday as planned for dinner because he had to buy inflatable mattresses. ??? I was livid. First, he could do that on his lunch break or that Friday night? He didn't take them until Saturday morning. Second, really? You didn't get their beds as a priority. <sigh> He also showed up that Sunday w/the kids for David's family party later than I asked, leaving me alone w/his parents. And none of the kids stuff. Liv had a sleepover that night and I needed her stuff - pillow, deoderant, brush, etc. He didn't even have pillows or toothbrushes for them. Come on. So he left during David's birthday party to go get the stuff - and returned only w/Liv's saying "Dave wanted to stay again tonight, I assumed that was fine." Um... Anyway. The following weekend was his actual wknd. Liv stayed w/me on Friday night because her recital was the next morning/all day. She slept there Sat night. Both these weekends they were up late and returned to me exhausted. Last Sun, Liv was telling me that Daddy drove by a petting zoo and they were going to visit it next wknd. I said that the following wknd she wasn't seeing Daddy as it was my wknd. She was SO upset because he promised her they'd see the petting zoo. So, as I'm unpacking their stuff noting all that was missing (including David's brand new ipod Touch), I text him what he didn't send home and then ask him what on earth he told Olivia. That I now had a crying child. He said he thought he could take them , that it would just be an hour. I explained this was MY weeeknd. They need to get into this routine and him grabbing them in the midst of my wknd was not happening. I also noted that they both had soccer games that wknd, that Liv had a sleepover in CT, and the following day was David's kid party. When exactly would a petting zoo visit be fit in? So he says "Tell them to get ready I'mt aking them now." It's now 4:45 on a Sunday. I said no. That his time ended at 4, as we decided, and that I wasn't having him take them and make them even more exhausted and miserable for me on a school night when they needed routine and a normal bedtime. He was pissy, told me he was getting "screwed" because of birthday parties during HIS time w/the kids and he can't plan stuff. I said I was sorry but those things were out of my control and we have 2 kids who will often have birthday parties and other activities on the weekends. That's life. I offered to have him come Tuesday since we had no plans - which he did and they went to the damn petting zoo. One other sidenote - he showed up that first week one night w/an earring in each year. I have no words for how ridiculous that was. That Saturday he asked me to take them out because he didn't know anybody well enough at work to ask them to and he couldn't. He's worked there 11 years. We managed to all have dinner together for David's real birthday one evening. It was painful for me because I simply dislike him but I want to do this sort of things for the kids if we can. We also went out to lunch w/his parents on the day of the recital. He made the most bizarre comments including "If you ever want wine, M, just let me know. The new grocery store has a crazy selection." What?! And so, I'm aggravated and taking a lot of deep breaths. When he first moved I got texts like "Are you going to watch the finale of Revolution?" Thankfully those stopped. When he's had the kids, I've twice gotten texts that they are bored. Really? I bite my tongue. I don't answer usually, because leave me alone. They're bored here too. Figure it out. This week David's activities end so G won't be out here all the time now. Next week will be the first week he won't be in my face basically daily. I can't wait. I wonder how the kids will be, but they seem fine. Honestly, they're great. I've heard from both teachers saying both kids have talked about it and are both very positive and upbeat about it. Liv's Girl Scout troop leaders said the same. And I feel like the largest weight of my life is gone. I feel energetic (until about 8 and then I want bed! single parenting is exhausting) and I'm getting things done that I've wanted to do for years. He really changed me. I didn't realize how much I wasn't doing until he was gone and I started doing them again. So it's good. I don't anticipate this being easy; he's annoying and I don't think that will change. But the more normal new normal will help I think. Seeing him SO much has been difficult, because that break I was hoping for seemed very short lived. Not anymore. No regrets. I have yet to feel like this was a bad decision. I had one moment the evening he moved out, after the kids were in bed, where I got frightened. I've never been in this house alone. And I cried, and I cried, and then I bucked up and was fine. And I've been fine since....