Anxiety, problems. in Since OD is shutting down....

I am one of those people who truly worries about everything, in depth to the point of making myself physically ill. I don’t know why I do this but I always have and most of the time, things work out pretty well.

In the past couple of weeks, I thought my tv in my living room was going out. The screen was dark and I’d hit a couple of buttons and it would usually be bright again. I decided last night that I was going to move some tv’s around but decided to mess with the power cord and noticed it was a little loose but didn’t seem loose enough to affect the screen but I unplugged it and then plugged it back in and switched outlets and haven’t had a problem since. I even looked at TV’s at Walmart yesterday and was about to throw down $300 for one. I am so glad that I messed with a couple of things because now it’s been on all day and not even a flicker of a problem has occurred.

I also bought fluids for my car because it didn’t want to go into gear and so I added both oil and transmission fluid and it’s running just fine. I literally was sick worrying that the transmission was going out but thankfully, it was just low on fluid and is doing alright now. I just about lost my damn mind because I can’t really afford to buy another car right now.

My anxiety was at an all time high yesterday and when my brother called, I told him that I need a realistic plan for childcare so that I’m able to find a damn job. I honestly only want to work the bare minimum so that I’m able to keep my health coverage and just enough to make a little bit of money until school starts and then find a full time job.

I’m really sick of school not being consistent and I’m glad to know that when school starts next year, it’s probably going to be a lot better than this. It’s really frustrating when my daughter and I both get on a routine and then there’s no school so then I have to figure out how to entertain her every day until school starts back up again. It was a pretty busy weekend and then today we went to Target and got Burger King for lunch. I am trying really hard to watch my money because I only have so much and I don’t want to be broke.

I’d really like to receive my taxes. It’s been 2 months and I called the other day and after waiting for an hour and a half to talk to someone, the lady tells me that unfortunately it’s been extended another 60 days and that I may have to file an amended return. I call back the next day and got completely different information so I have no idea what to believe. I haven’t gotten a letter in the mail so I don’t know what to do at this point. All I know is that I need that money and I would love to see it hit my account soon.

My daughter tells me that she’d like to have a house and I’d like to make that happen of these days. I just need reliable and affordable childcare so that I can get back to work. It’s really annoying that there’s been talk of making childcare more affordable and Biden is all for it but there’s other people putting a stop to it. Nobody wants people to be on welfare but no one wants to help them build themselves up and provide a good life for their kids either!

It’s also really scary how expensive everything has become and I definitely worry that we will reach a recession where it’s going to become impossible to find certain items and being able to afford them at some point. Gas is still crazy expensive and I’m glad that I don’t drive much because I can’t afford it.

I just hate spending money. It’s just crazy how money doesn’t last as long as it used to and I wish things would go back to being affordable. Even Walmart has become crazy expensive and I definitely don’t like it at all.