I'm trying to make it clear that getting half of you just ain't enough in Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of HAPPINESS

I’m not going to wait until you’re done
Pretending you don’t need anyone
I’m standing here naked

(Song Lyrics from James Arthur-Naked)

So I’ve been trying EVERYTHING to feel more connected to my boyfriend. The missing leg isn’t an issue. I understand that he’s been through something traumatic and may need some time, but can I at least get some acknowledgement. I even went out and bought a new lingerie set yesterday…I came to bed wearing it and…crickets. I feel SO completely disconnected. Even though I was an overworked and stressed out mama before, I at least had my adult time. Now it’s like…I have to beg him to even look at me. I’ve assured him over and over again that I don’t give two shits about his leg. I mean, he’s been in a wheelchair the entire time I’ve known him and I’ve seen him and helped him through some of his most vulnerable moments…so for the life of me I cannot figure out why he doesn’t seem interested. I’m usually the one swatting him away for wanting to be on me 24/7. This is frustrating. I would even be okay if there wasn’t anything sexual going on, but I was still being validated and tended to.

He literally just sent me a text from the bedroom asking if I can make him a coffee. It’s 10AM! I’ve been up since 6:30AM.

It’s so frustrating because I WANT SOME ATTENTION! We’re all adults here and I’m going to say this. I’m horny. I’m sexually frustrated and I’m dealing with a lot, so a little attention will go a long way. And since he’s home (and since my mom is here), I’m not one to pull out my vibrator because I have NO privacy. What is a girl to do?

Anyway, it’s soul sucking feeling so unappreciated. I DO SO MUCH. I’m kind of ready to go back to work. Just to say that I went somewhere and spoke to some people outside of the house about non-medical things. I’m tired of talking about hospitals and medicines and amputations and Covid…but I can’t seem to get away from any of it.

I’m currently trying to find a massage parlor because I am DUE for one.

I’m tired of taking care of everyone’s needs.

Who’s going to take care of me? Oh wait, that’s ALSO my job.