What I See in The Kid Used To Dream

It is said that one decision can effect up to 17 people who are aquatinted with you, even if they aren’t close. I’ve tried to keep this in mind when I do things or make decisions. A lot of things I will keep from social media because I don’t want someone thinking one thing or the other.

I seldom will post about trips I take until after I’ve returned home. Then, I’ll sugar-coat the trip to downplay something good. I’m just oversensitive about how the things I do make others feel.

I started this PB to get some things off my chest anonymously. I think I have an audandience of 3 and that causes me some anxiety because now I feel like I have to protect them from my words.

I have had a dream to play music and travel doing it since I was 5 years old. It’s about all I’ve ever wanted to do. I just watched a speech that Tim Tebow gave after being let go recently from a football team say - sometimes God just knows best. This is the 2nd time he’s played football professionally. He got the 2nd shot and still didn’t make the team.

My first shot at music was in 1996. There were several record labels looking at the band I was part of. We had worked on this album for 3 years and to this day no one (including me) got to hear the finished product. The negotiations fell thru between the producer and the labels and the labels walked away. I buried my dream until 2003 and it looked like I was given another shot. This time I didn’t get to sit down before things fell through. In 2016, I started writing a record that we finally finished this year and now - nothing. The producer and label has sat on it and I can’t get anything from them to move forward on a release.

However, my prayer before ever starting this time was if I couldn’t make a go of it - I would sacrifice everything for it. What I mean - is that I’m either going to consume my days with sharing this record with people or I’m done. I will admit as Tebow did - God knew best. What this means for me is that until HE (the Lord) speaks to my heart and allows me to share music again - I’ll not publicly sing or play another note. It’s sad for me to think about it - but necessary.

For now - no more entries…until I know for sure what I’m to do next.