Bitcoin & Berries in Journal

Did I mention we’re rich now? Haha. It still feels surreal.
We have downgraded our status; moved to a cheaper place, less stuff, less overhead, less to do. No AC. Overall, I like it. We go to the public park everyday and while there are people there that put me on edge, it’s nice to go somewhere for free (not drive). I guess we pay in other ways.
I feel… balanced. There’s no farm to get up and hurriedly do chores at, no cows to worry about escaping, or if they’re fat enough, or if the price of beef is going to cover hay costs, no chickens to count and no hawks to shake my fist at in impotent rage. Yet I miss it terribly. I miss my horse, who I know I’ll never see again. It tears at me. Because I am realistically good with horses, particularly the difficult ones that need more patience and perhaps can’t perform like others might want or insist on. It is difficult to accept things that aren’t my choice. That are in fact, not only not my choice, but that occurred because of a vengeful betrayal by someone who is supposed to love me.
And maybe my heart wrenching grief is displaced onto that horse rather than on that familial loss. That betrayal which is so deep and so fundamental to my self and my existence that it hurts my life to look at it. The one who gave me life and should love me, instead hates me and curses my existence. Ah, well… things to ponder.

Apparently I am not done “farming”, even as an urbanite. I cannot resist planting even now. We have less than a quarter acre and already I have seaberries, raspberries, juneberries, cherries, strawberries, and soon to be blueberries planted. Hopefully I can use them. They are supposed to produce at different times- except maybe for the raspberries which should be most of the summer. I think I will try to sneak in some rabbits. Chickens are out of the question, as they’re too loud to get away with. But buns are silent… I just need a place for the hutches.
I want to start making bread, something that has been on my list of things to learn for years now. I just hate baking, though. Now that we’re in the house more, maybe I can manage it?

DH is becoming more open with me. He’s telling me about his thoughts, how he came to them, asks what I think of them… and he’s quitting his job. Which is a needed change. We might become full-time BTC miners, haha. Or ETH or whatever. It’s exciting… thinking about his possible entry into entrepreneurship would mean a freedom of expression and a freedom from oppression for him. He’s been so beaten down over the course of his life. I can’t wait to see what he’ll do when he realizes he can do anything he wants.