aug 1 in idea barrages

No, Mr. Drowning Pool, there’s indeed something wrong with you. You are in Drowning Pool, that is indeed wrong. I just wonder: are you in Drowning Pool because there’s something wrong with you or is something wrong with you because you’re in Drowning Pool. Correlation? Causation?

Do strippers call them fireman poles? Do firemen call them stripper poles?

I just want a “Who’s On First” bit where someone is talking about F. Murray Abraham but the other person thinks he’s saying “Eff Murray Abraham!” and just cannot understand what Murray Abraham did to make him mad.

An operatic musical about power tools called MAKITA. “Don’t cry for me, cordless jigsaw…”

Here is the optimal “goofy obscure reference” name for an indie-rock band: Bluto Mattei. I send this out into the universe and hope someone will be performing as Bluto Mattei in, like, Echo Park or Austin within the next six months. Maybe Greenpoint Brooklyn!

TUBTHUMPERS! TUBTHUMPERS INCORPORATED, TUMTHUMPERS!

RENOVATORS! Teeeeeeeeeeear up.

And now I’m singing the intro to “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” as CINNABON snap snap CINNABON snap snap.