A 3:30pm margarita to cope with my day (and my kids) in Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of HAPPINESS

So my daughter (6) is currently enrolled at the Boys and Girls Club for Summer day camp. This is her first year doing Summer Camp, but Spring Break was her first time doing a camp in general. She did a half day art camp which she really loved. ANYWAY, so today they went on a field trip to a fancy candy store here in town. She was so excited to bring her purse with her money. Now, mind you the other day I grabbed her purse on my way to pick her up because we were going to be going to Walmart and she has a little WM giftcard with like $3 on it. Well, I unzip her purse to take all of the toys and what do I find, but at $20 bill. Now where did she get this you ask? She stole it. Now on THAT day she told me that she took it out of her piggy bank which I keep in a storage room. Fast forward to today when I unzipped her coin purse inside said purse and what do I find? $8....Where did she get this you ask? Well, she told me the WHOLE truth and that she stole it out of her 2 year old brother’s piggy bank that I keep in their bedroom closet (his looks like a stuffed animal and hers is glass which is why I keep it in a different area). I WAS ABSOLUTELY LIVID! She (and I) have been looking forward to this field trip to the candy store and her being able to bring her money. I let her keep $5 (I probably shouldn’t have) in order not to traumatize her by being the only child on a trip not buying candy (What kind of field trip is this anyway? LOL). FAST FORWARD to 2pm when I received a call from the camp director about my childs bullying behavior on the bus and not being able to keep her hands to herself. She’s been receiving at least 1 note home the past few weeks about not being able to keep her hands to herself (I will say, it’s not JUST her), so this was pretty much their final straw before KICKING HER OUT! She was kicked out. My 6 year old was kicked out of camp! WHO IS THIS CHILD? She’s only kicked out for a day, but still…when did things get this bad? I struggle with being my childs advocate and having her back no matter what and on the other hand I’m a dictator who is completely against rule breaking.

Right as I listened to the message on my phone from the counselor at the camp, I was just on my way out the door to take my 2 year old to the park. I had the diaper bag packed with drinks and snacks…literally walking out the door. I ALYWAYS feel horrible about one child suffering because of the indiscretions of the other child. (MY TWO YEAR OLD IS PEEING ON HIMSELF AS I TYPE THIS. Good thing we’re outside with his swim trunks on and his tiny pool to wash up in LOL). Since we’ve been home, I’ve been outside with my two year old playing outside. My daughter is inside not enjoying much of anything as I’ve taken away toys, TV, her tablet and the ability to enjoy what we’re doing outside. She came outside asking for hugs (this is what she always does when she’s in trouble and I always struggle with giving in because I want her to know that I love her, but I also want to have the boundary that yes, mom loves you, but a hug does not give you a free pass).

I just wish that there was an instruction manual on these types of things. What’s the right thing to do or say? What’s the proper disciplinary action? Because I cannot think of anything nice to say or do, I’d rather just push it to the side and not even deal with her. That’s an honest thought. I want to send her to my moms. I want to send her elsewhere and I have MOMENTS where I’d just like to be done. Take that to mean whatever you like, but it’s an honest thought and while I feel bad for saying it, it’s a valid feeling. SOMETIMES I want to be DONE!

In good news, we went to a doctor that specializes in ADHD and childrens mood disorders and we FINALLY received a diagnoses. While I’m not HAPPY with her diagnoses, I am happy to finally have a valid explanation. I mean, we all knew, but until she was diagnosed what difference did it make? She will start her script tomorrow. I JUST LOVED this doctor because one of the first things she pointed out to my daughter is that she, too struggles with ADHD as well as her school age son. Just hearing things from her perspective and really just having her validation on it probably not being ODD and that there are some of her impulses that she really cannot control. Just hearing from someone who could give insight really helped me. She said that she cannot wait to see how different she behaves even in the examining room. My child was climbing over the furniture and playing volleyball with the leather pillows. I picked up her prescription just today. She’ll have her first dose tomorrow. I pray that she sees minimal and slight side effects but that she can truly focus and excel! School will be starting for her in a month. It’s a new school, and it’s private so their tolerance for behavior is low. I pray to not have to be THAT parent. I felt so much shame signing her behavior report today and every other day that she receives one. I don’t even think that I read the comments. I haven’t decided if I’ll let her return this week. There’s only a week left of camp after this week. I struggle with wanting to enjoy my time away from her and with rewarding her with camp which is somewhere she wants to be.

In other news, my son had a meeting with his Speech Therapist today. He has truly blossomed since first starting services. His IEP meeting will be soon, and hopefully he’ll be allowed to attend preschool for early intervention. He has grown so much though. Right now he’s in a “nope”/”no” stage and it really stresses me out sometimes. Add that to the fact that he also runs from me or doesn’t respond when I call him. He’s a 2 year old! He’s milking it for everything it is worth. I’m hopefully going to have him enrolled in daycare soon. I struggle with putting him in daycare due to his allergies and his inability to speak and tell me if anything is wrong. I’ve gone to visit a particular daycare a few times. I think he’ll be great there, I would just hate for someone to not give him the attention that he needs and for something to go very wrong.

I really love my children dearly and I’m allowed to be tired! I do everything that I can with the resources that I can. I live 2 hours away from family where outside of my household, I know no one. I deserve a margarita, or two....

Last updated July 20, 2021