54#s down from WLS on 12/21- 75#s down from HW in Weight Loss Surgery

295 HW 274 SW 220 CW 180 GW

I have been at 220 for A WHILE now. This morning I was 220.0 and I went and peed and came back and was STILL 220.0. The numbers don’t wanna budge.

Father’s day came and went and I had cake of course.
I’ve had slip ups on days where there was no holiday.
I went to Hershey park and made myself so sick on milkshakes, I vomited.
I learned my lesson and controlled my eating on my birthday. Work birthday and friends birthday LOL. And most recently at a state fair where I could have gone, quite literally, hog wild.

We’ve also been going to the gym since mid June so that’s counteracting it all.

I’m not as good as I should be and not as bad as I could be.

I beat myself up over the fact that I’ve gone through this major surgery to lose weight and yet can’t stop eating sugar. But I’m also just trying to appreciate where I am - 75lbs down.

I feel lighter. I’m trying to build muscle at the gym. I see the physical changes and feel more confident. It’s unrealistic to never have “bad” food and I know my brain does encourage me to go overboard at times but I am tracking everything and sucking down protein shakes and eating nuts and - I don’t need to feel guilty so often.

I could be farther along but my weight loss is still progressing - so as long as the scale is still going down, I’m ok.

Another holiday weekend is coming and I’m sure they’ll be some - not great - choices. I got a BBQ and a wedding this weekend. but my saving grace is that I can’t eat in the amounts I used to and I stay full longer. I know that protein keeps me fuller than carbs and I am bringing my own veggie burgers to this BBQ but for the wedding, the veggie option will most likely be a pasta dish and I’m gonna have to be OK with that…