6/23/2021 in My Therapy Book

Well I am feeling like shit today, hardly any sleep. I had a very difficult day yesterday and have yet to recover emotionally. My daughter cuts and yesterday she cut really badly. I am not the person she goes to for help when she cuts too much which happened yesterday. I was the only one home. I walked into the guest bathroom to see blood just flowing off her arm and the bottom of the bathtub covered with blood. Her only words were “don’t yell.” Last thing I wanted to do was yell, I wanted to cry and still do. I have only ever really seen the aftermath of a bad day and have never been the one on the clean it up and put you back together position. I laid in bed last night thinking if something had gone wrong, how I would have let family know that my daughter was no longer around. I could not get it out of my head no matter how hard I tried and it is still swirling around in there this morning. The thought of trying to explain over and over again while dealing with the pain is tearing me apart. I am at a lost of what to do to help her. She is seeing a new therapist on Saturday and we are looking into a new doctor. A school therapist that she likes and trusts recommended this person so maybe it will help. I don’t see how my little girl is going to make it through life like this.