The Hangover in These Foolish Things
- April 14, 2021, 12:33 p.m.
- |
- Public
The days after chemotherapy are kind of weird. It feels like a bad hangover, but without all of the pre-hangover joys of being drunk the night before.
I sit here at my desk at work, nauseated and foggy. It’s been 5 days since I was “unplugged” from Foxy #2. It’s not that I feel terrible, it’s that I just feel off. I can still work and move around (in fact, I feel better when I’m moving around and not sitting in one place), and even laugh and experience joy - had a wonderful heart-to-heart with a guy I really admire here in the office yesterday, and he made me feel so much better. I can do all the things. I just don’t feel my usual healthy self.
I know I’ll feel much better tomorrow - I can just tell. I am a week out from infusion day. I celebrate that week in between infusions because I feel so fucking amazing. My body bounces back before we knock her back down.
I had a zoom call last night with a brand new non-profit org that’s just getting started. I’m joining an advocacy group to help newly diagnosed patients navigate this insane colon cancer world (it’s specific to colon cancer patients). I know that I was and am still overwhelmed trying to understand all of the ins and outs of WTF is happening to me and what can I do and where can I turn? This group’s mission is to help streamline the process and make it easier to understand. The founders’ stories are incredible - these are all colon cancer survivors (mostly Stage IV) who’ve been going down this road for a while and everyone has a unique story, yet we all have this awful thing in common.
The call lasted an hour longer than planned, and I hadn’t eaten anything and was just kind of sick to my stomach and nothing sounded good so I ended up grumpy and just went to bed. My stomach/guts/intestines are completely turned upside down and tied in knots.
Today I woke up meh. Did my workout and got the dog to daycare and on the way to work I was ravenous. But I wasn’t hungry for just my greek yogurt and raspberries which I’d packed into my bag - I wanted something massive. I ended up stopping at the convenience store that has a made-to-order kitchen and ordered a big ol’ ham, cheese and egg croissant sandwich and wolfed it down.
See? Hangover.
And then I got to work and ate my greek yogurt and raspberries for second breakfast. I’m still not satisfied. But I’m also no longer hungry. It’s also almost lunchtime. I will go for my walk.
Anyway. That’s it, folks. I have everything and yet nothing going on. I was super inspired, though, by talking with fellow cancer patients last night who are going and doing things like nothing else is going on in their lives. What I mean is, they are out doing normal things and traveling and living life as fully as possible. I’d like to plan a little weekend getaway or something on one of my off-weekends (when I’m not in recovery mode). Or even start thinking about moving again…
Until later (when I’m less hungover),
GS
Deleted user ⋅ April 14, 2021
Ugh, hangovers are the worst, so I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Sounds like you're doing a great job empowering yourself and others. Rock on! \m/ \m/
Ginger Snap Deleted user ⋅ April 14, 2021
Thank you! Working on it!
Complicated Disaster ⋅ April 14, 2021
Yay for the conversation with the co-worker. And yay for big old sandwiches! Stay strong! Love ya! xx
Ginger Snap Complicated Disaster ⋅ April 14, 2021
Thanks friend! Love ya right back!
Firebabe ⋅ April 14, 2021
It's awesome that there's groups like that out there. I can only imagine that having to deal with something like cancer has to feel overwhelming and scary at times. It's nice to know that there's a group out there who can help you through it.
Big ol' breakfast sandwiches are the best. Give the body what it wants!
Ginger Snap Firebabe ⋅ April 14, 2021
Exactly. Trying to listen very closely to what my body is saying.
And yes, unlike my rare brain injury a couple years ago where I couldn't find enough info, there's actually practically too much information on cancer. I'd love to help streamline the info.
Athena ⋅ April 14, 2021
Be kind to yourself because you are doing A+++.
Ginger Snap Athena ⋅ April 14, 2021
Thank you. I'm working hard on that!
bobbi01 ⋅ April 14, 2021
What a great group to be involved with. Some days yogurt and berries just don't cut it!
Ginger Snap bobbi01 ⋅ April 14, 2021
Yeah. I'm trying to listen and learn. It's ever evolving!
Satine ⋅ April 14, 2021
You are amazing - keep up the great work and remember to be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else. ❤️
plushcreep ⋅ April 14, 2021
If nothing else, you're making a great hobbit-in-training!
Marg ⋅ April 15, 2021
You would be a great inspiration for that cancer group and I can see you fitting into that rôle of making the whole streamlining process easier for them perfectly!
Jinn ⋅ April 19, 2021
I am glad you found that group. I think you will have a lot to contribute .