#TMIfiles: Prepping, Primping, Pooping (or not) in These Foolish Things

Well, hello there! Here it is, another new week. Happy Monday. TMI ahead…

It’s Infusion Week for me! Whee. This will be #3 - which means I’ll be 25% done with this treatment when the week is over. I can’t decide if that’s good or…ugh.

I have had some weird side effects from infusion 2, which I hope to be able to control through this next infusion. They say that you kind of learn to anticipate what’s going to happen, but it’s possible that every infusion will be a little different for me.

[here’s where the TMI starts, so scroll down a few paragraphs if you don’t want poop talk]

First, you know I have the nausea. My oncologist was surprised to hear how severe it’s been. And honestly, I don’t know if I’d call it that severe (except for one moment where I had to lean my head out of the window one morning), but I am quite sure it’s due to the constipation I’ve been having due to the chemo drugs. My onc and the infusion nurses all told me that I’d likely have diarrhea, but all of the literature I’ve read about this chemo is that it causes both, so…like all the chemo stuff, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t! I was afraid to use too much laxative-type product for fear of the shitz, but it appears that if I don’t have some help in the poop department that I’d likely never poop again! WTF.

So, the smooth move route I go. I’ve tried ev-ry-thing and only seem to have minimal success. Listen to the stuff I’m doing: adding natural fiber supplement, drinking more and more water, working out and walking 12K steps per day, miralax 2x/day, stool softeners, smooth move tea, warm prune juice and butter (look it up!), and finally…Senekot-S (which is a stimulant laxative).

I saw Jeff, my primary care physician on Friday and asked him about all of this and he listened to my belly and told me that my digestive tract sounds “slow”. I KNOW! All of these drugs are slowing me down! But at that point I wasn’t going hard and heavy with the laxatives because I was too afraid that the squirts would show up. But now, like I said above, I’m going to do everything I can to get that stuff out of my COLON!

I also had major redness on my face and an itchy rash on my chest. I’d gotten it the time before as well, but this time seemed even more intense. Jeff prescribed a hydrocortisone cream for my face and another topical cream for my chest and anywhere else below the neck (I forget what it’s called) and that’s seemed to have helped a lot. I hadn’t been using a super-duper sunscreen on my face and other areas because I just didn’t really think about it. After all, my daily moisturizer has SFP 30 in it. But the bottom line is, the skin irritation is likely extreme photosensitivity. So it was possibly a major sunburn! He told me to wear a wide-brimmed hat every time I go outside. And slather on that sunscreen (with zinc oxide!!). I’m going to be pasty white this summer and I don’t even care. The skin irritation kept me awake all night one night last week. I can’t with the skin irritation. I should know better!

I’ve been reading in my FB groups about side effects and how to control them, and many folks have said that they figured out what’s going to hit them and how hard by the time they get about halfway through treatment. So.

But I feel pretty armed for the next treatment coming up. I know the icing protocol and I want to have everything together for that. I will be seeing the nurse practitioner this time instead of the oncologist, so I want to make sure we talk through that… she’s not gonna like it, but I’m gonna do it! Plus, my oncologist says it’s cool, and I know what to expect now. AND the infusion nurses have seen/heard all about it from me, so they’ll see me coming with my rolling ice chest in all its glory!

My hair started shedding like a wild beast last week, but I’ve stumbled across some products that seem to already help. Either that or I’m in denial. You know, they told me I wouldn’t lose my hair but it would thin out quite a bit. I’ve seen pics of people who are in more long-term treatment and they don’t have much hair. I don’t know…all I know is that last week and into the weekend I saw my hair shedding like crazy. I’d ordered shampoo that has biotin in it and spent Saturday night pampering myself with a long, hot shower and hair wash, slathering moisturizer all over my body and generally relaxing. It was wonderful. The biotin seems to have helped with shedding already, but again, maybe I’m fooling myself? I also found another magical-looking product that I ordered that you massage into your scalp and leave in for 30 minutes before washing - found a discount code on some influencer’s IG (did you know that there are cancer influencers out there? And wig influencers??). I’m trying pretty much everything.

Shopping for hats, hair stuff, icing stuff, gut stuff…you name it, I’m at least sampling it!!

Let’s see, what else? Lunch with my family on Sunday. Was nice. It’s weird that my mom is in denial of this whole thing. I guess that’s how she deals with it. I force her to talk about it with me, but in a cool and calm manner. I think she’s actually trying to hold it together for dad. Poor, sweet dad. I’ve seen him cry a lot lately. It hurts my heart.

I finally broke down and cried the other evening and it felt good. I need to do more of it. It’s one thing to stay strong through all of this, but I’ve said this before - holding things IN is what got me into this mess in the first place! I strongly believe that. The human body was not built to hold onto anything toxic - from medication (chemo) to food to feelings. I MUST get all of the gunk out of me!!

And boys/men are a major let down these days - except for two people right now: the Rodeo Clown and Doc D. Both are checking on me on the reg. Not that I think anything would possibly come from either one of these people - it’s just soooooo nice to hear from them and I can tell they sincerely CARE.

The IG guy (the one who calls me “Champ”) has faded into the background. He’s going through his own issues and they are too big for me to try to understand. I asked him questions and he only seemed to get upset with me and then he finally told me that he’s married and clearly having issues. I backed waaaaaay off at that point. He has some demons to deal with.

And there was another guy on Match who acted like he wanted to date, but I had to be very clear and transparent about my schedule, so I told him what was up and he slowly backed himself out of the room…

Hahaha. I’m picturing that.

Anyway. That’s kinda it for now. I’m a little tired today because I haven’t had good sleep in a couple of days. I’m gonna go walk the dog, eat something and then settle in for yet another quiet night.

Getting through,
GS