Caution: I Don't Sit Still in Hello

3:08 AM.
Doc at 9.
I lie here by the light of one lamp, the visuals and sounds of Looney Tunes with the fan casting a light breeze upon my exposed flesh.
Sylvester the cat is doing a bad French accent.
I could lie here for hours and not sleep a wink.

I am sixteen again laying in bed. Turn right, toss left. Nothing but the dead of night silence and the dark. Except…the street light shines through the slits of my blinds in the window. I stare because I can not sleep.

I’m eleven again and my parents wonder why I have three sheets and a small blanket. Because I can not sleep I wrap myself up and pretend. One night I am a cowboy on the prairie wearing my sheet hat and blanket pants, the next I am a pirate on the high seas. Yarr matey!

I am nine again and sharing a bed room with my parents. I can hear them having sex. This has happened more than once.

I am seven again and laying in the dark in my own bedroom. Mom and dad are in bed but I can hear my middle brother thumping around in the dark. He’s being an asshole again, trying to scare me.

I am thirty-eight now and I will no longer lay in the dark awaiting sleep that doesn’t come…

Doc at 9.
Shit…

Last updated March 27, 2021