Second day back at the office and so far so good. I worked a full day yesterday, not even realizing that it was ONLY literally two weeks ago since my surgery. Doesn’t it feel like it was months ago? It’s like, oh, that part of this journey seems so far in the distant past since learning of all of this new stuff. The woman I talked to who’s had the same surgery told me that she took a good four weeks off of work!
I’m not trying to act like superwoman and I’m not trying to say I can handle everything, but seriously, that surgery seems like it was a piece of cake. I know, I know that my body needs rest as well, and I do honor that by going to bed super early at night, but I also want to be in good, good shape for this next phase. I want to be present and I want to be strong.
I took Martini for a walk at the park across from the office at the end of the workday and talked with my parents about coming out to be with me for the mediport surgery. My dad reminded me to please take it easy.
But truth be told, I don’t want to take it easy. I want to live this life to the fullest.
Yesterday I talked with CEO and HR and my boss and they are very empathetic and want to work with me and I’m grateful. I know I’m now looked upon as The Sick One and Boss has already taken some of my responsibilities and put them onto my engineer - which is fine. I do need to get a BIG report/presentation done by end of week and get it presented to exec team to make sure it is known that I’m still running this show, ya know?
But I also know that I’m not stressing the stuff that I once was. I think stress is what got me into this mess in the first place. De-stressing and being ultra present it going to get me out.
I am counting on the next steps to get this shit OUT of my body. How did it get in there in the first place? That’s what I intend to ask oncology next week.
ANYWAY.
Getting any and all toxicity out is my plan for the foreseeable future.
Including yucky dudes.
Remember I told you about a guy on Match.com who was willing to get to know me more despite my transparency about what’s going on? We talked on the phone a few times and he seemed pretty cool. I told him my viewpoints and fundamental values and all seemed good.
But I could tell he wasn’t really paying attention. And the proof came out when he wanted to talk about my political views - which I’d already shared over the phone and he’d clearly forgotten.
Afterwards, for a few days he sent me texts that simply said, “How goes?”
He kept sending “How goes” texts and I was like, he’s NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!
This past weekend I sent him a message saying that the weather was supposed to be phenomenal and invited him to take a walk with me. His reaction was very positive, saying, “I’m IN! TBD!”
Yet, he never TBD’d.
So finally, on Sunday I was like, “Well, the weekend is half over…”
And he was all, “Oh, I’m writing a business plan today and [blah, blah, blah]. Can I call you later?”
And I just answered, “No, thanks.”
And his response was “?”.
Which I didn’t answer because, if you don’t know why I’m telling you not to bother then there’s clearly a huge issue here.
He wasn’t listening. At all.
So from now on, listeners only.
I gotta go take Martini for her lunchtime walk now. Plus my computer is going to reboot in 5 minutes, so perfect timing.
I love perfect timing.
I love you,
GS
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