I can't believe this is happening in My life....I can't make this shit up!

It’s been months since I posted. Life has been a non-stop Rollercoaster. A short version - mom continued to be in and out of the hospital for months. This last time she’s been home things have been going great. Until today. She had diarrhea the last day but seemed to be OK. This morning she started to vomit, and I thought I got to her in time. I thought she was okay. Then she stopped breathing. I yelled for Dad to call 911, then Brian and I got her on the floor so I could start CPR. The EMTs had her in the ambulance for 15ish minutes before they even left for the hospital. We still had to wait an hour in the ER waiting room before the doctor came out and spoke with us in a private room. We agreed to a DNR, even though she was already on life support. They finally let all of us back. We all cried and called my siblings, holding the phone to mom so they could say goodbye. We’ve been here all day. Hospice is coming to talk with us at 930 in the morning. We’re still waiting for her to get settled into the icu room.
I cant believe this. I’m losing my best friend. How will I get through life now? What will I do?