Can hope be taught? in just testing

I dunno how to explain some of the situations I’ve been thinking about with the help of my tarot cards.

I was thinking about when Emma was in the escape room and she was freaking out.

The escape room was actually 3 rooms. It was a little small and a little dark cause it was a Scooby Doo haunted house thing.
It had fake lightening scaring her.
And the doors would open to the next room and then she’d be holding on to the doors and scared to be in any room alone cause she thought the door was gonna close and lock her.

And at first when she was acting all scared (cause she likes to be dramatic) we were Just like Stop It. Ya know? Calm down. Relax. Etc.

But then I started thinking about how she’s only 6. Never been to something like this before. Meanwhile I’m 40 this year and I’ve read about these things. Heard of other people going and getting out fine. I trust the people in the lobby aren’t going to leave us in there. I know if the door accidentally did get locked we wouldn’t LIVE in there. A locksmith would get us out.

I had all this experience and logic and trust to make me unafraid that she doesn’t have.

So then I started holding her hand and kinda let go of solving the puzzle just to be with her. Trying her that were all here to protect her and the people outside can see us on cameras and she could leave anytime she wants, etc.

I knew in the end, when we all got out, she’d realize the whole thing was fine. But I didn’t make her wait till that moment to feel OK.

And I don’t wanna act like my parents are sisters were monsters to her but we all were kind of dismissive in the beginning trying to solve the puzzle in 60 mins.

And then I was thinking about Will’s blow up when we thought his surgery was canceled. He was ranting and reaching about being fat FOREVER.

He went from 0 to 100 immediately.

And I was trying him, if I was in his shoes I’d be disappointed too BUT let’s wait and see who we can talk to about fixing this. There’s still hope!

But he was like no, there is no hope, in gonna have to cancel and wait months for another appointment! Just immediately to the worst case scenario.

And I was dismissive to him. Like relax, calm down, so stop being dramatic, just wait til we’ve talked to everyone.

Which wasn’t helping.

And I was thinking to myself how much I wish he thought like me cause if I had his frame of mind that NOTHING will ever work out for me I’d be severely depressed.

And I believe he is a little depressed. He’s kinda a melancholy guy. He’s grateful when things work out but he never expects it.

And he always bashing my pos point of view when we fight. He always brings up my “rose colored glasses” and that I’m in lala land and stuff like that.

And then I was wondering WHY I am positive when he’s not.

Certainly no one taught me to be positive. I mean as a kid I didn’t really know the struggles my mom was going through so she wasn’t really positive or negative. She just went to work and came home. We didn’t really talk about things.

I mean, my father walked out and never came back. Why did I grow up a hopeful child?

I was taught to pray when things went wrong. Mostly I prayed when I lost my glasses and I always found them so I guess that was an introduction to the fact that everything will be OK. And that God’s listening/ watching. Cause I truly thought He helped me find my glasses so I didn’t get a beaten lol cause glasses are expensive!

But Will went to catholic elementary school! He prayed Alot more than me. Why doesn’t he also have the sense that he not alone and this will work out?

I Google hope to teach hope, if hope can even be taught and they basically said that children who grow up in hard situations usually have more hope because they see things being over come.

Meanwhile, kids with easy lives where everything is handed to them usually fall apart at challenges and don’t have as much hope that it’ll work out, whatever it is.

This is extremely general but I didn’t Google to hard.

And I can’t say that Will had an “easy” life but his mom did coddle him and now when things go wrong it’s the end of the fucking world… until it’s not.

And even rescheduling the surgery wouldn’t be The End Of The World. I had delays to the surgery too but at least he wasn’t denied approval. He Will Get It.

Well the point is I’m going to TRY to be gentler with him cause his mind just isn’t like mine. He doesn’t have my level of hope. He can’t bring down my hope either. I won’t let him. But I don’t have to dismiss him cause I know it’s going to work out when he doesn’t.

The same way it’s wrong to dismiss Emma just because she hasn’t yet learned that escape rooms are just games run by businesses that won’t leave you locked in their building forever.

I have to be gentler with him, even though he a gron man. And I will try.