It Won't Go Away in meh...

I never thought I would be in an emotionally abusive relationship. I now realize how it can happen.

He has mental problems and needs help. I’m going to really need therapy after it’s really over. It’s done for me, but he doesn’t grasp the concept of over.

I’ve called the police to see if they have people to assist on mental health calls. They were no help. He was supposed to leave and ended up calling me all night. This was weeks ago.

Because I have this stuff there, I cannot legally get rid of him. I have plainly asked and told him to go, and he refuses. I have to get laws involved for real. Now I see why he is single. He unleashes crazy like none I’ve ever seen and it’s sometimes scary.

At this moment he is having a fit because I’m not letting him use my car. He says I don’t ride for him. He says I treat him like a kid. He acts like a kid. He always has a plan, but doesn’t do anything with it. He sabotaged a job. Went through all this back and forth BS to get paperwork and documents to get the job only to flake it off and not show up.

I think he pissed on my couch.

I’m sorry if me pushing you to do better feels like a push in the wrong direction. He’s listening to music and reading random shit on the internet. It’s part spoken word, all directed at me, part talking shit, but we are the only two in the house.

Other people fucked him up. I didn’t want this. I wanted him to be where he was and we get to know each other. Instead, he jumped into my life, jumped into my home, jeopardizing everything I am working toward, but I’m wrong. It’s a ploy on his part to play with my head.

We argue. We argue so bad.

I tell him to leave, but the only way he will go is if I cheat. If I say I’m cheating then he says he will smack fire from me. I’m not cheating. Nowhere, no way am I cheating.

Now he’s talking Mortal Kombat shit. Probably using x. I don’t know how I got here.

He keeps repeating that “She’s a runner, she’s a track star” song.

I started this about a month ago.

In the meantime, I got a new full time and a new part time job. I’m going to need lots of coffee and I don’t do coffee like that.

I need help and no one will help me that I can afford.