Trying on bathing suits and lingerie in Weight Loss Surgery

Too soon?

It wasn’t a big deal, I was just curious and of course all my bathing did feel tight. They’re not supposed to be loose though.

I have 3 but 1 I could never fit into.

I used to have more but way before the surgery, a couple years ago I did a MAJOR clean out of my clothes to donate. I donated like 4 garbage bags of clothes that either didn’t fit currently or I gave up shrinking into.

So I had other bathing suits but I got rid of them. No biggie.

And found a spring jacket that’s never fit. What great about this now is that my arms fit in it but
It cannot close lol. Like not at all. But in time we’ll see.

I also thought I’d try on my old lingerie. I really don’t have alot at all. But I guess I got rid of everything except one leopard print slip looking thing. But the slip still fit.

I don’t expect to bring the slip or any time soon. I know vday is coming up but Wills gonna be recovering but he still has but issues.

I guess like a month ago I told some that will was having real pain when pooping. And it turns out he has a cut (fissure), prob from hard sharp poop, inside himself. Like not even on the edge of the anus, like inside.

The doc stuck a camera in.

So he gave Will an external cream and said if it didn’t work he going to have to go in and seal it. I dunno if it’s stitches or glue.

Cream didn’t work.

I also told him about miralax, which is working for me. I think he was on it for a min but then not.

He doesn’t want to do the seal thing but he’s also in pain. So he know he’s gonna do it but he wants to get the sleeve over with first.

So even though I don’t really have a libido I’m also not gonna be bouncing 250ish lbs on his ass now…

And I know there’s other ways to “do it” but seriously (for a long time), because of both our weights, we’ve only done it one way, with me on top doing all the work.

Part of me thinks, if he had more energy to be more active in love making I’d want it more.

I like an orgasm as much as the next person but when you can predict the entire routine getting there, and it depends on your muscles only, it’s less motivating to get into.

Plus, when I was near 300lbs, being in that position (on top) is exhausting. PLUS I was/am disgusted with how I look, how I feel, how my body moves, etc. So then most of the time it was like a backwards cowboy I guess they call it where I didn’t face him and I would feel guilty.

Guilty because he does like me and I felt like I was insulting him by not facing him Every. Single. Time.

And I’m sure he thinks it’s him. It’s not. I love him and I find him attractive, I always - have but I let myself go to a point where I’m just turned off by myself.

And recently , now that I’m in the 250s, I kinda felt like maybe I should try to … engage.. in attempting sex but then his butt issue, lol, I dunno.

I feel bad making excuses cause I feel like I’m hurting his ego. I’m extremely guilty about it. And I’m too embarrassed to talk to him about it so don’t even suggest it.

I’m just thinking that as we both lose weight and I get more confident and he gets more energy we could really shake up our sex life and never really have these issues again. But I feel shallow about it too.

This turned out to be way longer than I intended.

Last updated February 09, 2021