a standard barrage in idea barrages

1.) When I watched Star Wars as a kid I was the only one who wanted to be the wishy-washy hero not the mysterious jerk. It tells my whole story.

2.) I can no longer look at the old DICK TRACY movie without seeing Flattop as John C Reilly after a horrible car accident.

3.) Quasimodo, sick to death of April Fools Day, yelling "Pranktuary! PRANKTUARY!"

4.) I wonder if ubiquitous media culture makes it harder for ethnic identity to be fluid. Wasn't long ago that Italian or Irish wasn't "white".

5.) He liked his salsa the way he liked his women, a real spicy chunky tomato.

6.) I miss being rocked to sleep by the JMZ line so damned badly sometimes. That forward motion energy that could even propel a coward like me.

7.) A "Duggar Party" sounds like a particularly vile sex act.

8.) Translating hexadecimal is as easy as 10, 11, 12!

9.) Nothing says "sitcom with more budget than remaining ideas" more than the family-trip-abroad episode.

10.) I can't help but feel that the more a person talks about their God, the clearer it is that they think we should worship THEM not their God.

11.) What do you get when you mix a latex club and a leather club on the hottest day of the summer? Gummy bears!

12.) Yes, I am researching welding on wikipedia to better write a Billy Idol parody. If someone would hire me, I'd do better things with my time.

13.) WU TANG PACIFIERS AIN'T NOTHIN' TO SUCK WITH

14.) I await the day I see a sticker of a hipster peeing on Calvin.