jan 18 in idea barrages

  • Jan. 15, 2021, 11:39 p.m.
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  1. Baseball teaches us, in metaphor, things too difficult to accept straight on. Example: the best relief pitcher to ever exist will only become that because he wasn’t good enough to even be the worst starter on his team. That’s some real koan wisdom right there.

  2. Goofing off around lumberjacks is an axe indent waiting to happen.

  3. Ollie the dog is such an absolute unit, he transcends the category and is a full-on integer.

  4. Sometimes I like to pretend that Barry is sort for “Bawrence” or “Bahrold”.

  5. Open a stables outside of Austin, call it “The Best Little Horsehouse In Texas”.

  6. I feel like this is the year where “when it rains, it pours” graduated up to “if you see a single drop, get on the roof, flood’s a coming”.

  7. When the moon hits your eye like 602,214,076,000,000,000,000,000,000 pizza pies, that’s a mole.

  8. For all the time my team of scientists and I worked on whether we COULD write a parody of TLC’s “No Scrubs” about the horror movie C.H.U.D. we never once considered if we SHOULD write a parody of TLC’s “No Scrubs” about the horror movie C.H.U.D.


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