my little girl Sadness( my pet rat) and what i feel about Her death in Messed up thing i call my life

why do i feel like a failure? just a simple answer- I am. I failed everything, my relationships, my family, my business, even my girls, I wasn’t there for her when she was dying, I just needed those 5 hours of sleep after watching them for 30ish hours making sure they don’t chew on their stitches and are alright, but i was just tired, I fell asleep when she needed me the most, I wasn’t there, I found her tiny breathless body later, when I woke up- brushed my teeth and made myself a cup of coffee, because I just assumed she is asleep, I didn’t want to disturb her, I just wanted to let her rest. I had to be there, and I wasn’t and I blame myself for it, I can’t live with myself. I love you Sadness, you hear me! I will always remember you! You will always be in my heart and on my shoulder.
Thank You for everything my little girl, I hope I made your life just as amazing as You made mine!