I... Don't Know in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

So… I don’t know why but today I woke up and I’m just feeling… down.

Just lower self esteem, no motivation.

So of course… foolish me… in this state of mind, I decide to update my Christmas Wish List on Amazon to try to regain the large number of DVDs that Nancy took.

Of course… that wasn’t bright as in reviewing the DVDs, I got to realize “Holy Shit, she actually took that?!” Like… there are two movies that are historically important to me and my family.

Big Trouble in Little China
and
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

These are movies most people haven’t even heard of. Nancy certainly didn’t know about them. But now I have to replace them. I mean… I let her, so that might be on me. But still… surprised.

So… I may or may not have shared this before. Hear me that I DO believe in Police Reform. That being said? We deal with this shit all the time. I have a trial coming up with one of these guys. “I do not lawfully need a driver’s license. You have no jurisdiction over me. I am a traveler and I have not consented to your authority!” Yeah. We have to deal with this far too often.

Into Therapy… lets hope this goes well.

Worked a lot with mind fullness. Not letting thoughts of the past or the future take up too much of my energy. As part of the Mind fullness experience, we did a meditation thing with affirmations. The weird thing? One of the affirmations was “I am enough” and for reasons I’m not entirely aware of?? Saying that pissed me off. Got me angry. Really just… rage. So I’d say that’s something to look into. WHY does thinking that I’m enough fill me with anger?