From The Place Where I Live Right Now in These Foolish Things

This morning I decided to look fear in the face and walk to the city trail directly from my apartment’s steps. Of course, I was on high alert and paid attention to every step I took as well as made sure to notice anyone else who was outside walking. The weather was lovely and the walk was really nice. I only encountered two sketchy people and both times I was able to side step may way out of directly having to deal with them. I think tomorrow I will start doing research of other/new neighborhoods to check them out from a walk-ability standpoint and see if there are any cool places to watch for moving.

I haven’t broached trying to terminate my lease early yet. I want to do a little more research before I do. Plus, my attorney neighbor told me that he thought that he was able to get out of his lease early was because he only had four more months on his lease.

It’s funny, this apartment’s been a decent one - it’s in a super cool building, my neighbors have been super quiet and friendly and lovely for the most part (except when a CRAZY man with a serious drug problem lived next door and his dealer would come by in the middle of the night - OMG I’m so glad he didn’t live here during the pandemic!! He was seriously one of the sketchiest people I’ve ever seen!!).

I moved here in a panic back in 2012…I just had to look at my old OD. Yes, it was eight long years ago in May of 2012 when I quickly moved in after moving out of my ex-fiance’s place since finding out he had been cheating the whole time I’d known him (ugh, I just read a lot of those entries trying to figure out when I’d first moved in here).

Anyway, I moved here in a whirlwind with nothing and now I’ve filled it to the brim with stuff: new furniture, lots of clothes and shoes, artsy stuff, my dress form with my mom’s old lace overlay dress, a dog…the list goes on. I’ve filled it with friends and champagne parties and even a couple of lovers. But it’s been a while now since this place has seen any positive action, and I get the strong feeling that it’s getting to be the time to move on. And again, it may take a bit of time simply because I don’t know about getting out of the lease early and I want to thoroughly research a new place - unlike the time I took to move in here. It was a fast move after a couple weeks in Asia on a business trip and then a stint in an extended stay hotel amidst a heart-wrenching breakup.

Man, have I seen troubles! But I suppose we all have, haven’t we?

I don’t hate it here - I’m just nervous about the atmosphere OUTSIDE of my walls and this building. It’s not nice anymore. All of the things that I find beautiful about this area are boarded up and closed and I’m not sure when they will even open again.

Additionally, I’ve asked for signs from God…from The Universe…from all of the forces swirling out there among us, and there are SO MANY HUGE THINGS, as we all know. But I’ve never been spoken to so clearly and loudly. I don’t think any of us have. It’s up to us to take action in our own ways.

So I will research and plan and ponder and then figure out the things I need to do to take action.

And don’t get me wrong, I have friends here whom I adore. In fact, I’ve been getting to know more of my neighbors since being stuck here in quarantine. I’ve loved that part. These are wonderful people. I just need to be in a place where I feel safe in order to take care of other things in my life.

OK. Stuff to do. More weekend to experience.

Take care of yourselves.
Mask up!
GS