Change is Hard in I don't know what I'm doing

So I’ve been listening to this podcast, Buddhist Bootcamp, religiously. It really clicks with me and motivates me. I listen to it in my car and on my walks. I really want to make life and attitude changes. I know it’ll help me in so many ways. You don’t realize how much of a habit being negative is until you try to change it. I am really trying to be more mindful of my thoughts about myself and about the people and world around me. I try to catch myself when I’m being judgey and when I’m speaking negatively.
I do really well for a few hours then I catch myself going falling right back into old habits, then I become discouraged. I know it’s all part of growth and change does not happen overnight. I just really want to live a better, cleaner life. I just don’t have anyone to go on the journey with me. Which I know I should be able to do things on my own and I don’t need the help or approval of others. It is just nice to have someone else to help hold you responsible and remind you of the change you’re trying to make. It’s okay though. I’ll get there. I just gotta keep at it and keep training myself and being mindful and grateful.
Being back at work has been nice, it makes the days more bearable and helps me appreciate my home time more.
I’ve been going on walks by myself and enjoying them. My 2 bestfriends have been doing their own thing. They invited me a few times but I turned them down, just because I was already busy and had my mind set on what I was going to do. They are hanging out and having lunch and dinner this weekend. I was invited, but I made other plans already with a new friend. It’s nice to get some diversity now and then. Take breaks from the norm. Keeps me on my toes and grateful for what I have. It’s never a bad thing to make new friendships to add to your growth.
Good Witch season 5 is on Netflix. I’m so excited. I absolutely love this show. It’s such a lighthearted, positive show full of life morals and brightness. It just makes you feel good.
I need a haircut ASAP. Mainly just for my comfort. I feel better when I’m more clean cut.
I work in the morning and it’s pretty late. I need to get to bed. So guess it’s that time. Signing off. ;)