Woke up and threw up, possibly from lack of sleep. Left early to grab a coffee and coffee was a disappointment. Got to work early on the plus side don’t really remember the boring drive and got to catch up on YouTube videos. The new girl was there and I have a sneaking suspicion that she got to watch an eyelash extensions being done ( worming her way into where I wanted) she had all clients today and requested from one of our good clients sister like wtf. While I cleaned up after her like I’m some junior and she just treats me like I’ll do her dishes etc. she’s painted a picture for the salon (which they will hang up somewhere) and then she can always go to clients I painted that blah blah … I hate her so much cause she is better than me .. i feel like I should quit just to get it over and done with cause I know that’s what it’s heading to .. they just need a beauty therapist and bye bye Me. I feel like I finally found a place like noodle box but nope that’s getting taken away just like everything else.
Had a nice dinner and mums and watched a movie so that was a good distraction and I ate dinner which has been better than nothing or very little.
And back to shit. Got home only their aircon was on cause they are rude ( but if it was other way around they tell me off)
Life thoughts
I hate living here with double fucking standards. I feel like I have nothing positive on my life apart from my cat cause I don’t want him to end up homeless not again and I don’t know if Mum would take care of him.. I’m living for others and wanting to die everyday .. maybe that’s why I haven’t committed suicide cause I don’t want people to think I left them I just want everything to stop .. my heartaches for something, scared of the future, barely getting by. Like what kinda life is that and to be proud . Yeah right and this whole Ex situation just fucks me off more . I hate him with his current partner but I only want him cause I’m scared I’m going to miss out all together … tomorrow is another day of uncertainty which is totally fantastic!!! Hope I can sleep but doubt it very much
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