oh God where is Spring barrage in idea barrages

1.) The Secret isn't to pray your pleas for help into the ether. The Secret is to outloud ask your friends.

2.) People mistakenly call them "vanilla envelopes" so often, the glue should really just be vanilla-flavoured at this point.

3.) A great phrase for personalizing autographs would be "I have no idea who you are but you seem cool".

4.) An internet video where you play, like, board games and pretend to be afraid. Monopoly with a scare cam. Scrabble scare cam.

5.) Your personal demons live off the energy you spend trying to beat them. Instead, let go.

6.) You say "synergistic opportunity" I say "slouching toward monopoly".

7.) I reject Throwback Thursday for the same reason I reject April Fools Day. I'll nostalgia & prank on my own clock, not someone else's edict.

8.) Only the children of the deepest conspiracy members are allowed to go to the Bilderberg Build-A-Bear.