Of course (dream) in Vulnerability

Last night, I fell asleep with all the lights on, in a singlet, laptop still open, three pillows behind me still propped up. I musta been exhausted.

Annnd my subconscious decides to send me a dream about Sydney-crush Luke, doesn’t it?
Like most of my dreams that I remember, it was pretty patchy. But what I took from it was that we were very flirty with each other. Like, he actually liked me back! That’s something I get zero recollection of in real life on the rare few occasions I have hung out with him. Bit anyway, it was very romantic. Kisses, me feeling his butt through his clothes. There was no sex, but definitely a possibility to lead to it. We were making out a lot. His lips seemed small and dry (which was a weird thing for my dream to throw at me) against mine but the kisses were wonderful. He smiled a lot afterwards. And I’d melt each time.

Somewhere along the line, the dream appeared to be set in Hobart but I had to catch an international flight home to Brisbane (go figure LOL). I’m sure Hobart’s international airport is combined as one, but that’s just being picky. I know I had to leave and couldn’t stay with him.
We parted ways but he kept appearing again a few minutes later, in various areas. I had left my gym bag back in town and had to go get it - he’d appear next to me and smile that smile again. Then he’d be somewhere else, surprising me. Then he’d be back at the airport. There was a final wave as he disappeared in the crowd.
Then as I was heading to board the plane, suddenly there he was again. He very cutely asked me, “Umm, would you like to dine with me and Darren?” (In sure that was the name the dream threw at me)
I knew who Darren was in the dream. A recent break-up. It didn’t end well, seemingly. Then I was at a table in a cafe, Luke next to me, showing me off to his ex to (I can only assume) get back at him (which is something I could never see Like doing, but hey I don’t actually know him at all so who knows). The ex looked extremely uncomfortable. (Also notable that he seemed quite average-looking - for my type, obvs not Luke’s. I guess that makes sense because my subconscious would want Luke’s ex to not be as attractive as I know an ex would more than likely be in reality, ha!)

That’s where the dream ended. I woke up, confused it hadn’t been real. I even remember in the dream thinking how real this seemed HA. Then I thought, “Duh Matt, of course that wasn’t real.
My morning glory was reaching for the sunrise, even constricted by underwear. At least I had managed to take my pants off before passing out last night.

So yeah. Thanks brain. I’m not sure whether I like you or am annoyed at the moment haha. I probably laid down here on my bed thinking about it for 20 mins or so. My alarm then went off. I was so content thinking about dream-making-out-with-Luke that I just let it ring for ages. Now the tone is stuck in my head a little.
I haven’t even asked my subconscious why it decided Luke suddenly liked me all of a sudden. He (my brain) and I will need to have some words later. Someone else in there (oh hey, companion) is telling me I was just a rebound of sorts and to show his ex he’s happy again so soon. But it seemed so real.
I hate how vivid and fooling my dreams can be. I took the last of my medication yesterday, but they haven’t given me dreams before.
So fucking weird. We didn’t even hook up! Considering the real-life Snapchat and Grindr conversations I’ve been having lately with cute guys, I’m stunned the dream didn’t go in that direction. It was just his kisses and his smiles.
I barely fucking know the guy haha.

Oh dreams, you are a funny thing.

I thought I’d better write this down before I completely forget it, as dreams tend to do cos they weren’t real. I like how sometimes the memories of them hang around for a bit though. I actually don’t have ones that I recall very often at all.

Last updated July 19, 2019