Progression in 2020

6:20pm

I have started several entries in a drafts folder but I don’t think I’ll get to them any time soon. I figure it’ll be easier if I jot this down real quick. This way I’m at least getting something into words and stored away for memories sake.

• Yesterday I started an entry about how I finally did a thing: I removed the sticky from my work desk that TF had written me. I think it’s been on there for a couple years. I don’t remember exactly when he scribbled the words telling me he thought I rocked. Oh how I cherished that tiny sticky note. Oh how dumb I was.

• Today I finally pulled the trigger and booked tickets to Puerto Vallarta for June. I’ve been researching for a few weeks now. Going back and forth and trying to decide which itinerary would be the best.

• The tickets are for my mom and I....and EC. =)

• I sure hope we’re going to stick it out. haha. Honestly neither one of us seems to have any doubts. This last Sunday he told me that he thought if we could make it a year then we were probably going to be good for the long long term. Basically if we made it a year I was stuck with him. Well, this trip in June will be exactly 2 weeks before our 1-year anniversary. 😳 We’ll see how it goes! I’m excited!! He’s never even been to Mexico as an adult.

• Also on Sunday, he asked me to wait for him like a year and a half. 🤔 I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I am in no hurry and don’t mind waiting at all. I’m not particularly itching to get married and/or change my living situation. I also don’t want to worry about kids. I don’t think I’m ready for that. As much as I’ve always loved the idea of raising my own child, I’m not sure I’ll be any good at it.
  On the other hand I do love the idea of living with him. I know how short life is and don’t like to postpone things for very long. And hello celibacy! Now that I actually have someone stable and sturdy in my life it’s a lot harder to resist. Do I want to wait another year and half before we move things along?? I mean, I don’t have much of a choice but damn that seems like a long time. hah.

He says he wants to be in a better position before he makes any commitments to me. I totally get this. I respect it a lot! But I also told him that things don’t need to be perfect. That I am more than willing to help him reach all of his life goals. I don’t mind doing it together!

Yeah I totally forgot to post this yesterday. I got home around 7:30, ate a tiny dinner, talked to EC for like an hour, watched trashy TV and went to bed.

That’s all for now.
rose.