A Challenge for The Men (and Ladies) in Scottish Meanderings

I was out at Nikki’s last night and we finished our normal game of Scrabble earlier than usual - around 11.20 p.m. Normally it’s nearer midnight or 1 a.m. So we did something we haven’t done for a long time - when I used to go over to hers on a Saturday, just before I left for home, she would show me all the photos and videos she’d taken of the kids since last time I’d been there. And she’d include odd or funny videos she’d seen on Facebook or wherever, knowing I rarely go on Facebook so would have missed them.

This was included in last night’s and I was intrigued I must admit -


so anyone who feels like taking on the challenge let me know how you get on and in the meantime I’ll try and find out the reason why men struggle with it.


There was another advantage to the showing of videos. I very often lament the things I miss not being active in the morning - and being there for the kids on Christmas morning is one of them. I have no idea why I didn’t think to ask Nikki if she’d taken any videos and of course she had so I got to see all the excitement - albeit secondhand - through the wonderful technology of her phone. Neither of the girls wanted anything really big this year which was a big help to Nikki who was pretty strapped financially so it was really nice seeing them being so appreciative of the little gifts Santa left them.

I’m beginning to feel like a crabby old bag on this subject these days but I’m fed up of buying presents for kids I hardly see in the family then not having them even acknowledged. I haven’t mentioned this to anyone so was therefore really pleased when 2 of my nieces sent me messages and a video of appreciation re birthday gifts for their kids this year and my nephew in New York did the same for his toddler and new baby at Christmas. It really does makes a big difference.

The present buying is beginning to get out of hand though and I don’t really know what the answer is. When I counted up all the kids in the family i.e. two generations down from me, we amounted to 17 altogether - although that’s with 2 imminent additions still to be born. It takes a lot of organisation and half the time I have no idea if I'm hitting the mark for many of them or not.

Years ago I told the adults that I was going to stop buying presents for them and put their present money to charity instead. Once the next generation reached around 16 years old, I started to include them in that plan and that worked really well but now the kids are starting to take over and I’m struggling to find enough money to buy for them AND put money to charity at the same time. Need to get the thinking cap on.

I had most of the presents pretty much bought by the first week in December but the spare bedroom had begun to look like a crazy outlet of Amazon!


And then the wrapping procrastination hit - which resulted in me eventually rushing around like a madwoman the week before Christmas trying to get everything posted and wrapped in time.

I’ve never understood how someone hasn’t cornered a market in present wrapping. Most folk I know hate it and I might well give due consideration to someone invading my spare bedroom, pointing them in the direction of a table, paper, scissors and sellotape, handing them a list and letting them get on with it. How amazing would that be - to go out one afternoon and return to all your presents nicely wrapped instead of looking like a dog’s breakfast then you get the fun bit of writing out the labels!

I did finally get the finger out though and transform some of the mess into a pile of presents thus:


and then I drove out to Nikki’s in the afternoon on Christmas Day to find Santa having a nap after an exhausting night -


and just in time for the second wind of present opening after which we had a really nice meal, played with the kids, read them stories, packed them off to bed then Nikki & I played F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Monopoly.

I think it must go down on record though as being the longest drawn out game when one is clearly winning and one is clearly losing - I just kept being sent to jail or landing on free parking and missing Nikki’s properties which had vast rents waiting to fleece me until at last I was mortgaged to the hilt and down to my last couple of quid -


at which point we called it a night and I toddled off to my house in the pitch black of 2 a.m.


I managed to miss all 3 Christmas meals I was invited to this year :(

The table tennis one seems to have a penchant for being organised on the same date as the girls’ Nativity Play - that’s two years running it’s happened - last year I had a brilliant day because I hared out to Pitmedden for the play at 2 p.m. - Lily was in that one but Lilah’s class wasn’t in it until the teatime showing so I thought I was going to have to miss it. I hared back to Aberdeen for the last hour of the table tennis meal, left at 5 p.m., discovered I didn’t feel too bad so decided to make a last ditch attempt to cross town at rush hour and try and get out to Pitmedden again for 6.

I made it with seconds to spare, was really lucky in somehow managing to get into the hall without a ticket and stood at the side so that the girls saw me because I knew Lilah was really disappointed I wasn’t going to be there.

Not so lucky this year though. I waited to see if the date was going to clash again and by the time I did, the limited numbers for the meal had all been taken. That worked out well for Nikki because logistically it was turning into a bit of a nightmare for her to get to both shows with Ruari in tow so after I’d been to the afternoon show to see Lilah, I babysat Lily (she was too old to be in it this year) & Ruari in the evening so that Nikki could take Lilah back to the second showing.

She was a wee star. Well she was a shepherdess actually and unfortunately tending her sheep at the very back of the stage so it was difficult to get a decent photo. She was a bit apprehensive to start with but once she found Nikki & I in the audience she sang her wee heart out and did all her actions perfectly.
She's the second one from the left at the back with the pom poms on her head (doing the sleep action).


The writing group’s meal was in the evening an hour’s drive away which I still struggle with so that was out and the Italian class one was at 12 noon just before our lesson. I go to watch Lily swimming and help Nikki with Ruari after my 2 hours of Italian on a Thursday and usually find that onerous enough in itself so I knew I would really struggle getting there for 12 and lasting out the whole day so had to give it a miss.

My cousin also contacted me to ask if I wanted complimentary tickets to a Celtic music Christmas concert in our local Music Hall - she is Manager for some of the acts - and I had to turn that down as well. This particular concert is extremely popular and always well received every year -


and I knew it would be really enjoyable. But I just can’t seem to get past half past 8 when I go out in the evening so again had to decline.

It’s at times like that I hate the illness and what it stops me doing. However I don’t dwell on it for long - I just concentrate on what I can do and get on with that instead!

And we did get up to Inverness just before Christmas and caught up with everyone up there and my sister made us all a rather flirty Christmas cake for pudding!


Nikki had made rock cakes - Mum's staple goto when she was baking - she wanted to go and visit her grave to show her Ruari and leave a rock cake for the birds. As we didn't get up to Inverness until late afternoon and the cemetery closed at 4.30, I tried my best to dissuade her but her mind was made up so off we went in the pitch black, stumbling along the narrow paths using our phone torches and scaring poor Lilah half out of her mind. Good job I was there - I doubt she'd have found the grave otherwise!

And now I’m chock full of the crud and coughing and sneezing everywhere - which is pretty much par for the course at this time of year. So many folk I know are sick - I think we all push ourselves too hard at Christmas then our bodies react when it’s all over.

However at least I know this will eventually go away. Poor wee Matt - my niece, Catriona’s wee boy - has been in hospital on a drip for over a week now with intermittent sickness which no-one can seem to find the cause of. Ian, my brother, and my sister-in-law, Margaret, have been over since the 17th and were supposed to travel to Skye for a Hogmanay celebration this week but have decided to stay on - not least because Catriona is expecting her second baby on the 4th January!


Apparently he had a better night last night and hasn’t been sick since yesterday so we’re really hoping he’s turned a corner - it’s been a very worrying time. (Update - he got out last night so will at least bring in the New Year in his own bed :)

Other highlights of December include:


These special ‘first’ moments never fail to make me cry!

We wondered what would be the catalyst which would make him finally crawl (he’d been on the cusp for weeks and finally made it on the 5th) - Nikki is naturally delighted it was her! We’ve decided Lily is going to be a writer (she loves reading and writing and crawled for a pen) , Lilah will be a performer (she’s so dramatic, loves music and crawled to a musical toy) and Ruari is just going to be a Mummy’s boy!!

There are traits coming out in him even at this stage. He seems to be very sensitive, is definitely affected by loud noise - to the extent Nikki had to buy him a pair of ear defenders which have been a brilliant solution - and I’ve never seen a baby so tactical.

He is fascinated by patterns and certain material - often strokes my jumper/a cushion/throw if it’s particularly soft, very often strokes our faces (very gently) and regularly inspects my silver rings, watch and earrings. One of the rings has cubic zirconia coloured stones in it and another is sparkly and my watch is a mixture of silver and marcasite - so also quite sparkly. He never fails to notice them and stroke them.

And my earrings! I often wear dangly earrings and the girls always love seeing which pair I have on each Saturday when I go out so I always try to wear a sparkly or shiny pair. Well the effort is not lost on our Ruari either! I regularly get half my ear pulled off as he attempts to pull them out :)

I just love watching his personality develop and seeing how it’s evident certain things are inherently there already and just need brought out. We have had a slight worry in that he’s showing what could be very mild autistic traits. He doesn’t really play with any of his toys in the way the girls did at long before his age - his sensitivity to loud noise and stimulation concerned us - some of his developments are delayed - he’s not very vocal - it’s all little things but in conversation with Nikki one day, I realised she had a wee list as well so she’s obviously noticed stuff too.

We both have experience of autism in kids so are well versed in signs and symptoms but we both also don’t want to make a big mountain out of a molehill so are just quietly watching and observing at the moment.


And now it's the end of a year which seemed to zoom past at the rate of noughts - but then they all do nowadays.

I'll be spending part of today with my brother and his wife which I'm looking forward to and I might watch the fireworks out of the bedroom window at midnight - I get a lovely panoramic view over the city so am really lucky that way.

For many of us here, 2019 wasn't a great year so I sincerely wish all of you the very best for a much much better, happier, safer and healthier 2020 -