HERE is a survey that is going around. Because the work I was hoping to get done today?
(1) Person gave me the wrong phone number so I can’t call them to tell them not to fly here next week
(2) Police haven’t provided their reports, so I can’t file a charging document.
What is in the back seat of your car right now?
I don’t know as my car is being worked on. But I am driving Martha’s car and there is nothing back there. OOOOOoooo, I should share this, though. So… technically… Martha’s car is my grandfather’s car. When he died he bequeathed it to me. As I already had a car, it became Martha’s car. When my Civic got totaled, we just replaced the Civic. But technically, the car is my car. And Martha was genuinely curious if I’d want it back as part of the separation. NOW, maybe I’m being too generous… I’ll allow for that… but she’s been driving that car now for 3 years… and what do I need with 2 cars.
What was the last thing you threw up?
I can’t quite remember to be honest. I want to say… liquid and.... something pasta-y
Menthol or regular cigarettes?
Oh, darlings, I don’t smoke. I have before. A cigar here or there, a cigarette once at a bar. But no.
What is your favorite episode of Friends?
There are a lot I could say here because… well… I’m very Chandler… but I’d always have to go with The One With The Embryos
Does anyone have any blackmail on you?
Yes and no. Blackmail involves something that a person could use to induce payment from me in order for them to keep it secret. While there are embarrassing and even potentially career-ending things out in the world about me; none of them are so heinous as to be sufficient to induce payment from me to keep them hidden.
If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
Anna Kendrick or Christina Ricci or Alison Brie
Have you been to a strip club?
Once for my brother’s bachelor party.
Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
A sticky note and some bubble wrap
Are you wearing socks right now?
Yes, black calf high business socks
What was the last thing you had to drink?
A can of coca cola
What are you wearing right now?
A gray suit, blue pin-stripped button up shirt, black business shoes
Last food you ate?
Rice and Sausage
Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Not even within the last year, I think
What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Some football games during Thanksgiving
Last person’s house you were in?
Either my parents, my brother, or Victoria’s
Last movie you saw?
The Five Venoms (old kung fu movie)
Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook?
Victoria. Her kids have been sick but they are feeling better enough to go see Frozen 2
Ever go to camp?
Yes, and I abhorred it. I had to do up to 4 different camp experiences per summer and I detested each and every one of them
Were you an honor roll student in school?
Somewhat. I didn’t apply myself to my academics much but I seemed to get consistently decent marks
Do you like sushi?
Do you have a tan?
No. I’m almost consistently pale as the grim horseman. Even in Hawaii when I did get a little color, it wasn’t much!
How old do you want to be when you have kids?
Frankly, I’d have wanted to have kids already were life ideal. I’d like to be younger than 55 when my last child graduates High School.
What is your age?
Are you someone’s best friend?
I certainly hope so. I like to think so. MBFITWW seems to have a short supply of friends and whenever he’s doing something with “a friend” his mom always asks how I’m doing because she knows it is likely me he’s hanging out with… so I would certainly hope so!
What are your siblings’ middle names?
I only have the one, and it is the same as our father’s first name and his father’s first name before him
Where is your dad right now?
Likely at his home near Des Moines
What was the last thing you said?
“Oh, is that Bolivar?”
What color is your watch?
I break with all legal tradition and do not own nor wear a watch
What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Accents and Weather
Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Many in many states
My birthstone is an emerald. I’d have to say either an Emerald or an Onyx
Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Typically Drive Through as if I’m getting fast food it is either to share with someone else that is not present in the car or because I’m in a damnable hurry.
Do you have a roommate?
HA! What a question. This answer would have been more volatile and inflammatory a few months ago, eh? I’d say that at present; I do have a, I suppose house mate would be a better way to say it as I don’t sleep in the same room anymore. But that will change. She’ll be moving out… “soon.” Though, hand to Christ, if she’s not out by the end of January and I’m not pitching a fit, you all have my permission to assault me for my weakness.
Do you have any bad habits?
Yes but I’d go so far as to say even some of my good habits should be seen as bad habits since they interfere with my ability to lead a healthy life
What is your favorite number?
3 6 7 and it must be stated as individual numbers. It is not three hundred sixty seven nor is it three comma six comma seven… it is merely Three Six Seven
Do you know anyone named Lori?
I do, in fact I think that was the name of my realtor
What color is your mom’s hair?
HA! Many think it is blond, but she’s a natural VERY dark brown… the addition of the gray simply makes it look like a fine blond
Do you have a dog?
What happened to you in 1993?
I would have been 9, having finished the third grade and entering the fourth. Fourth Grade was a wonderful time for me, except for all the illness but that wasn’t limited to a single year
Does your first memory involve your dad?
It does not, come to think of it. It involves my mother and a television
Do you remember singing any songs as kids?
Of course. My mother and father both sing and my mother was a music teacher
When was the last time you went swimming?
It has been months, tragically. I may not have been swimming since Hawaii come to think of it
Has your luggage ever gotten lost?
Not exactly. It has been delayed (thought that a bit odd) but never lost
Biggest annoyance in your life right this minute?
Simply other humans. My profession is a parade of the tormented, the tormentors, the children expected to be adults, the adults acting like children… I see it all. I have gotten into the habit of saying this, sadly: Due to my work, the evils of man no longer surprise me. The stupidity of man, however, never ceases to amaze!
Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar?
Not particularly, but I must admit that there is a large (suppressed) part of me that would find revelry at destruction
Do you like watching a bonfire?
I actually don’t have a great deal of experience with them. They’re not bad, all things considered, just… haven’t had occasion to experience many
What is one thing you miss about your past?
So many things; but if I had to select only one… prior to 2001, there seemed to be more hope, more joy, more opportunity, more possibility in the world. Since then it just seems like hope, joy, opportunity, and possibility keep diminishing.
Favorite shoes that you wear all the time?
Honestly, my business shoes. I’m not much for “multiple costume changes” during a day
What is one thing you’ve learned about life recently?
That for many, comfort is the only value they’re willing to sacrifice for. It doesn’t matter if they’re comfort also puts their life in danger or threatens their children… it is better to be comfortable and miserable as opposed to uncomfortable.
When was the last time you were disappointed?
On a near daily basis. Not a day goes by where I’m not being reminded that mental health care here is atrocious, or that there are children right now starving because Mommy and Daddy had to support their meth addiction, or that there are people who know their spouse will put them in the hospital with the next beating but can’t/won’t/don’t allow us to help her.
Do you like the smell of rain?
Depends on the rain and time of year
What were you doing today at 2:15 in the afternoon?
It is prior to that at the moment; but I assume I’ll be on my computer checking e-mail while also watching television or playing video games
Have you ever thought about your wedding?
I have. I think about it often. Even took snaps of our wedding photos for my phone in case Martha wants to take those pictures with her. Honestly not sure what to do with those pictures during the separation.
Name something negative that you hate about yourself:
If it is FOR someone else, I can do anything. I am a fearless advocate and courageous helper to those in need. But when it comes to something I’m passionate about? Even something like “Trying to learn cosplay so I can do a proper costume for next year’s anime iowa” or “Separate from your wife or Be more spontaneous*… in those instances I find myself rather paralyzed… not with fear, necessarily, but with this overwhelming sense of “I have no idea how to navigate this. I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel lost. I’ll not try it then.”
Name something positive you love about yourself:
I have a mild repertoire for accents, I am a decent listener, and I can be a good conversationalist provided I have a conversation partner who can supply a back and forth.