I tried... in Darkest Thoughts

Nothing and no one to turn to. Just hiding and crying. Selfish and alone. Thats all i am.
When you spend mire time with others than with your wife, can you blame me?
My issues are internal and i cant control them. But your unwarranted anger at my frustration is self induced. You smoke then wanna stop and become this. I cant handle it. Im not gonna handle it. Im gonna hide and protect myself.
I fid good this week at being happy and not letting stress take control. It was a good week… Then thus happened, what do i do?