Running group in 2019 Amazing Stories!

There was frost on the ground when I woke up this morning. My car thermometer said 33 degrees at one point during my drive in to work. Even for here this is unusually cold. Its only October, not even late October.

I did go to the running group yesterday! I was SOOO nervous. For as many “you’ll be fine” thoughts I had, I had 10 “what exactly do you think you’re doing?” thoughts. I was worried that this was going to be a group of seasoned runners who have all been friends for the past 20 years. That they weren’t going to be super friendly or open to new people. That they’d look at me weird when I walked through the door (the group meets at a running store). I was trying to predict in my head the questions they’d ask once I finally introduced myself so I could be prepared for any and all conversation. That’s the hardest part; my brain typically freezes when I’m supposed to talk. Oddly enough, the actually running part was the least scary part. The running part comes to me naturally.

But after some last-minute, in-car deliberation, I got myself there and walked through the doors of the running store. After kind of walking around and assessing the people while pretending to look at the merchandise, I finally introduced myself to a few people who looked like they wouldn’t give off a rude vibe in case my words fumbled out. Then after conquering the first few people, I introduced myself to a few more.

During the run, I found myself in-pace with this really nice girl who I had talked to a little bit inside the store before the run. She seemed really easy to talk to, and it was nice to have someone who ran the same pace as me. Come to find out she’s a special education teacher for grades K-5. That made me slightly laugh on the inside because I know more than a few people with this occupation (or in another similar educator positions) and I always find myself able to converse with these people a little easier than other folks in other populations. They are usually the conversation approachers/starters and they are also typically able to non-awkwardly keep the conversation going when I awkwardly fumble or freeze. I’m starting to think its because they are able to easily spot out the socially awkward/nervous/panic attack types and feel comfortable approaching these types and engaging in conversation whereas the average person would shy away.

Anyhow, I’m SUPER proud of myself. I got myself to the store knowing that I wouldn’t know another single human being there. I didn’t even care that I didn’t know what the running route was going to be; that was of no concern lol. The concern was social-everything. There were a few other people there who were also relatively new to the group. One of them started just last Wednesday, so knowing there were others still in the “newbie” phase made me feel lots better. I was so worried that it would be this group of old people who had all been running together for the past 20 years and had been to everyone’s family birthdays/weddings/graduations/etc. I plan on going back next Wednesday. I expect it will still be hard to convince myself to get there, but I feel confident knowing I think I got through the worst part.

I even scheduled a dental exam yesterday. Its been awhile. The last dentist I tried in this area was okay, but I don’t feel his work was the best. This is why I need homework in between therapy sessions. Because then I feel forced to actually DO stuff and then report back with “things i did that got me out of my comfort zone.” Its an accountability thing that works for me. If I’m not expected to report back with anything, I won’t do anything. I probably wouldn’t have gotten to the running store last night, and filed the failure under “things no one needs to know about.”

So I’m hoping today is a good day at work today because I’m in a good mood and don’t want that ruined lol.