I’m out here aggressively writing on PB. Like twice a day now. I just can’t turn my brain off.
I think that I had a visitor last night. Yes, I am talking about a spirit like a crazy person. She was tall, white, young, had a big nose and had long fake blonde hair up to her thighs, a baggy gray t-shirt and red flannel PJ bottoms. She had on one of those tacky fisherman hats from the 90s, it was yellow. I could not get this random image of a person out of my head and I could not shake the feeling that she was standing in my room. Standing over me while I was trying to sleep. I kept gasping for air just as I was about to sleep. This happened when Ryan passed away. If this happens again tonight I will contact my friend Melissa, she was raised a Wiccan and she helped me the last time that this happened… I don’t want to be a medium. Living people are needy enough.
After last night’s entry, my reaction to learning about babies that survive abortions, I went and learned about a discovery that is a little more positive. Using sound, if you can match the frequency of glass it will shatter. Only if you tap it to make it vibrate first. Once upon a time, there was a bridge that had that effect when the wind matched the same frequency as the steel and the bridge collapsed. Scientists found a frequency at which cancer cells are vulnerable. Under a microscope, the cancer cells shattered when they attempted to replicate. That’s pretty exciting. It makes me think of shamans or healers who used chants and instruments to heal people. Everything really is vibrations and frequency.
Hetal is home. She arrived last night. I’m going to take her grocery shopping later today. She has a lot of sleep to catch up on. We are getting up to 40cm of snow this weekend so we all have to stockpile food before that blizzard. Who ordered an extra two months of winter? Return to sender!! So everybody is going to be going crazy at the grocery stores this week. Nobody wants to be that dumb bitch who needs to go to the grocery store during a blizzard on Thanksgiving weekend. Her mother sent her home with an idol of Ganesha made from silver to give to me. Her mother is a huge fan of me and randomly checks in with Hetal “is he still not eating animals?” That’s like, something that makes her so happy lol. I want to convert to Hinduism, I just don’t really know how to get started. I also want to learn about Wicca too though. People think that Witchcraft and Wicca are the same things but they’re not. Wicca is a religion, witchcraft is something that you do. When people pray in church, hold rosaries and do hell marys in front of candles and a cross and summon goodwill from angels and gods… it’s not much different from witchcraft to me. Should I start a book of shadows? lol
Kyle wants to get together this weekend. He was kind of aggressive about it. Like, he really wants to make it happen. Of course, we will get snowed in and the plans won’t happen but it’s nice to believe in something lol. I think he really wants to talk to somebody about his ex-relationship. I’m still shook that he and Evan broke up. He doesn’t open up to people but he probably remembered that I am a safe place when he saw me this weekend.
Speaking of safe places, I decided to try and chit chat with people on Grindr. I always end up feeling assaulted. Like, sexual harassment is just acceptable on there. I did however burst out laughing when a guy sent me a pic of him sitting on top of a horse naked. That was so random. I think it’s cute when people hide their faces on Grindr and then call me a slut shamer. You were clearly ashamed before I rejected you. Is standard shaming a thing?
I am hiding from my budget book. I really should open it and look at that mess… I’ll have an instant panic attack but that should light a fire under my ass. I’ll just apply at Winners, they have to be hiring for the season. Even if it is just part-time and temporary. It’s close enough to home. The management basically know me already I’m such a regular.
I just realized that I won’t be able to go for a run after this week. Frig.