negativity in just testing

  • Sept. 3, 2013, 6:30 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

I have a friend, I'll call her Teach.

Long story short. Teach is my bestie from highschool, she was my college roomie, she was a bridesmaid in my wedding and just an all around nice girl. She's been a teacher straight out of college and dealing with kids has made her silly and fun and ...I feel like she's changed and it's disappointing.

Teach had a bf of 10 years. She met him in college too [though he's older than us and didn't go to our college]. He still lived at home, had 2 kids by 2 baby mamas but he had those kids when he was young and he was still in their lives, etc. I think the child support from having 2 kids was draining his bank account and that's why he still lived at home.

But a year or 2 into their relationship he got laid off and decided to try his hand at 'the music business' and didn't get another job the rest of their relationship - about 8 years.

Teach stayed with him a long time despite that. She loved him and defended him and that was fine. But in the last stretch of their relationship she got tired of buying his cigarettes and staying at home with him cause he couldn't afford to go anywhere. They couldn't get an apartment together, the couldn't go on a vacation together, and he didn't look like he had any future. She was a teacher, she had a salary, she wanted to move into her own place, she wanted to get married and have kids, she needed to move on.

She broke up with him. A few months after that she was laid off.

Her job screwed her on a technicality. She was a good teacher but they were looking to cut costs and laid off a lot of non tenured teachers. She thought she was tenured but they laid her off and said that even though she worked there 10 years - her first year she was technically a teacher's assistant, not a teacher, so she was not tenured. It was more complicated than that, she has paperwork that she said was tenured that they basically dismissed, she got her union involved and they didn't really do anything.

And her ex got another gf and that gf began to harass Teach because even Teach and her ex were friends and still talked on the phone from time to time, or texted and his new gf didn't like it. It was a lot of 'stay away from my man' type stuff.

So Teach, I believe, went into a depression of sorts. That was 2 years ago.

For a long time I've had to listen to her complain about having no man and no job. During this time I was planning my wedding - I didn't rub it in her face but she was involved and I know it didn't help her. I have my own place, I had a bf [now husband] and she saw me having what she wanted and I kept telling her "you're beautiful, you're smart, you have your family and friends, you are not alone and things will turn around" and all she would say is "I have no job, I have no man, I live with my parents,..."

I get it, I really do. Prosebox is too new for you guys to have seen my ranting and raving but I get down in the dumps too.

I got a new job in a daycare / school and they were looking for teachers and I told her to apply.

She went through the interview process and got hired!

I now work with my best friend, it's super cool! Or I thought it would be.

But now we go to lunch everyday and complains about the pay of the job, the bad behaviors of the kids, the fact that she STILL doesn't have a man or live on her own.

I really thought Teach would be like " I'm not where I want to be completely in my life but at least I have a job"

But all she does it complain. To EVERYONE - not just me. But since I'm with her a lot I have to hear the complaining all the time!

I've been understanding for a long time but this weekend we went out to a movie with a friend who we haven't seen in a while. So Teach had a whole new person to tell how horrible her life is to. And I ... kind of tried to tell her that it's not as bad as she thinks and that I feel like she looking for reasons to complain. She DOES have things to complain about - the pay is LOW and the kids are crazy but ... AT LEAST SHE HAS A JOB!

She basically told me to mind my business - I don't know how she feels and it's all a 'senstitive subject". So I backed off, we were with someone else going to a movie and I didn't want to start and fight and further, I didn't want to be in a fight with someone I have to work with.

She was out of work for a year! Now she has something to add to her resume! She works with me! She can come to me any time in that school if she needs help or a bathroom break. We get to go out to lunch all the time. She's making new friends that may have single friends. The school LOVES her, she's at no risk of losing this job anytime soon.

There ARE positives and she's refusing to talk about them, or even see them.

And she didn't used to be this way. We never had this issue before where I had to talk with her about her negativity.

Her life is not where she wanted it to be a 32. Mine neither. It happens. You gotta roll with it! She's not rolling... or if she is, it's extremely slow and she's fighting it.

Not to be morbid but there are people who are homeless, innocent runners who got their legs blown off cause they jogged at the wrong place and time, mothers who burying their children, people who were born with disabilities or deformities that will never know what it's like to have a boyfriend or a job!

There are those who have it waaay worse.

And when I say stuff to her she's like "I know , I know, I should count my blessings" but it doesn't last 24 hours till she's back complaining about SOMETHING.

And I guess since I see her everyday and we have lunch almost everyday it's wearing on me. It's really not that bad. She's making the situation she's in that much worse by dwelling on the negative and ... to put it lightly, it's bothering me.

It's not like I'm gonna stop being her friend about it. I just wish she wasn't so unhappy.


shneaker September 03, 2013

The great thing about "besties" is that you have earned the right to slap her up side the head and say HELLO. Life does suck but you have a job and you have me. and while not everything is the way you envisioned your life being. I am still here and willing to journey with you to whatever paths that may take. Quit your whining and woman up and lets move on.

That's what" besties" are for

precious butterflies September 04, 2013

I can't believe after not having a job for over a year, she's still being so negative and ungrateful. :/ It sounds very cool that you two get to work together! Maybe as she warms up to the job, she'll start feeling better.

ninakir88 September 09, 2013

She just sounds like one of those people that is never happy and always finds something to complain about.

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