Finally, someone who's feeling like I feel. I've been dealing with depression for years now and I had it really bad yesterday, so bad that I was seriously on the verge of taking 50 sleeping pills and ending it all, because I no longer want to be here anymore and I want to go home. Like you, I keep my depression secret because I too don't want to bother anyone and also because I've found, people don't really care about your depression. They say they do but they don't. The only ones who care are those who are battling it too. I wish I knew what to say to cheer you up, but I don't. I honestly don't know how to recover from depression, no matter how temporary or how permanent.