Dr Appt recap in 2019 Amazing Stories!

My doctor’s appointment last week went okay. But this is exactly how ridiculous I am (and yes, I’m aware):

So the main point of the visit was for my annual birth control follow-up/refill. I was going to ask about maybe going back on an antidepressant/anxiety medication because I sort of feel like I’m at that point. Something to at least “level me out” moodwise. Right. So as a default from past answers/history, I’m forced to complete a depression questionnaire and an anxiety questionnaire every time I got to the doctor. As before, I gave brutally honest answers. Usually those answers are what prompts the dr to bring up the question: “Have you thought about going back on a medication of some kind to help make things more manageable in your life?” Also as a note, I completed those questionnaires with the Medical Assistant who took my vitals and all that other jazz.

So that said, I maybe saw my actual doctor for like 5 minutes. And it’s probably my fault for scheduling an appointment late in the day. They were running 30 mins behind and my appointment was at 4:45 pm. I’m not sure she even looked at my questionnaires and I know its 100% my responsibility to speak up for myself if that were the case. She didn’t bring up my answers or bring up my past attempts with other SSRIs and if I maybe wanted to try something else. Nothing whatsoever was brought about about my depression and anxiety diagnoses in my chart at all. OR the fact that I’ve lost EXACTLY 10 pounds since my last visit 1 year and 1 month ago, which I didn’t need to lose.

So I didn’t bring it up because by that point I was like “well maybe my answers aren’t so bad compared to what she’s used to seeing. Maybe her patient/case load is filled with chemical dependency cases, so in comparison, I’m a beam of fucking physical health. Maybe its all in my head and the way I think I’m feeling isn’t actually that bad?” My lack of self-confidence oddly is what kept me from bringing it up and my lack of self-confidence is also what causes me the most anxiety which later turns into depression. Vicious cycle, my friends.