Update by Phone in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019
- Aug. 3, 2019, 11:58 p.m.
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- Public
I hate writing on my phone so I shall be quick.
Counseling was good. We got to the heart of our dysfunction. Not surprisingly it all comes back to attachment. I am Anxious Attachment (duh, all actors are) and Wife is Absent Attachment.
Basically, I tend to really want and need attention (why I so often ask if I am feeling appropriately because I have long been aware of my Anxious Attachment and try to balance that).
Wife? She’s never attached to anyone. Ever. Which explains her weird relationship with her parents. And why she basically needs to be REMINDED that she is in a marriage.
So… that is information. Honestly, doesn’t mean much and doesn’t change things. It provides Wife with a starting place if she decides she would like to WORK. And that is the point. Is she going to work? Does she want to? Does she have any interest? Only the next few months will tell. Plans haven’t changed. There are 5 more months of the year. Miracles can’t be expected. But will there be any efforts? Any attempts? Any good faith, sincere, genuine try? We’ll see.
I hadn’t written yet because my cold went sideways. When we got back from Counseling, I vomited my entire lunch and have been in bed since.
Perpetually Plump ⋅ August 04, 2019
Read "Attached" by Amir Levine. It will give you some insight into attachment bonds. It's good stuff.
stargazing ⋅ August 04, 2019
I'm glad your session went well. Did you explore why wife never attached to anyone? I'm just curious. Hard for me to imagine. Hopefully she will understand at some point that she has to put in the work...just seeing the therapist doesn't change things.
Amelie's Twin ⋅ August 04, 2019
Have you or wife considered she might be on the autism spectrum? Has she ever been tested?
hippiechica15 ⋅ August 04, 2019
I hope she gets something out of that information, and I hope you are feeling better today.
Nash ⋅ August 04, 2019
Work? I am sure that would be nice but she is not a roomie, she is your spouse. Does she love you, and if so why does she have so much trouble expressing it verbally, physically and sexually.
It is fourth and long and time to punt my friend.
hot-lips ⋅ August 06, 2019
Interesting info. Glad you guys went to counselling. What will you do with the info? As others have asked, do you know why your wife is so detached? She either needs to make an effort and meet you halfway, or you go your separate ways, otherwise it's not fair on you.