My Wife Fucked Another Home Depot Coworker in Just another day in Paradise...

  • July 28, 2019, 2:13 p.m.
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  • Public

This is to document what is going on in my current living situation.

Caroline MacDonald from Edmonton whom I met on ProseBox moved to NOLA and we ultimately got married. She cheated on me with a Home Depot coworker in Flooring before her 2 years of residency here, but lied to me and manipulated me into believing that she would work on the relationship. She just wanted to get to the two year marker to become a resident where I sponsored her. She’s admitted as much.. it recently came out she not only wanted to keep her job she was hoping she would be able to have a relationship with Flooring. Turns out he was only using her but she was determined to believe he was a special connection, a good person, and they had a lot in common and he truly deeply cared for her.

It took a month for this to be obvious. It took Caroline destroying our marriage and almost 6 months for her to finally realize he didn’t give a shit. Mostly because he didn’t give her enough attention to fuel her insatiable desire for attention.

We ended up going to Marriage Counseling. The tentative agreement we had after years of her beating me into submission that she wanted out and me trying to make it work and her just constantly keeping her wall up separating us.. so I agreed we would get financially out of our mutual debt. Until then neither of us would get involved in any sort of sexual or romantic relationship so as not to complicate things. And we would still fool around. She hated the fooling around so it rarely happened, to be honest, but basically I spent all of my time cooking for her, cleaning, cutting grass, taking out trash, recycling, shopping, cleaning.. and doing all the things a boyfriend or husband does for their lover like I’d buy her an icee and surprise her with it at work and she did.. laundry. So the occasional climax every so often was literally all she had to do to get off the list of doing actual chores and such.

But she fought it and I usually ended up going to bed sad and lonely.

We went to therapy. She kept saying she has resentment for me because I’m “forcing” her to be sexual. Which isn’t true. She only does it if she wants to. And trust me, she rarely wants to, and it’s not fucking hard it’s a couple minutes I do most of the work. Sometimes she just lays there naked. It’s embarrassing.

She claims she’s not sexual anymore and never was? Which makes no sense but she was wildly sexual when we met. Voracious.

I’ve discovered she finds someone when she’s unhappy. She invests everything into them. She creates a fantasy around them. Then she stops at NOTHING and at no cost (including attacking Tiffany, legit she personally attacked Tiffany and told her all sorts of fucked up things to try and get her to back off from liking me back in the day, admitted it later..) to get what she wants. She wanted me and she eventually got me.

We got married. She got hurt by me when she fell into a deep dark medication absent depression that lasted beyond 3 weeks straight where she slept at minimum 18-20 hours a day and laid in the dark the rest of the time on her phone.

I didn’t know humans could live in darkness so long.

Honestly, I recovered from drinking by myself in a lot of ways and alone. Eventually I lost my cool and just yelled at her to please please please at least get the fuck up and come to the couch to eat with me. You gotta get up and move! Movement is medicine!

Now, I was an ignorant asshole for doing that. I had not experienced such intense Bipolar depression. Kids, do NOT follow Brian’s how to cheer up the depressed. I failed her then as a friend, a lover, and husband.

But she put up a wall. Shut me out. Hasn’t lowered it since despite years of me begging, pleading, proving myself, etc.. She’s never forgiven one person in her life.

She’s also never truly loved one person in her life.

She’s a bit of a terrifying person to be honest. Her dead eyes scare me. A lot.

The marriage counseling helped for a while, I brought in some money for a bit, and things seemed better but as Caroline always does a few weeks in she stops trying. She gets lazy. She gets resentful. Then she gets revenge. And we spiral backward..

She stopped going to therapy and wouldn’t reschedule..

And finally I was done, my last straw. We go to therapy.

My last straw I keep telling her.

This entire couple years I’ve begged her to go to personal therapy.

She had me read stuff on Bipolar. She brags she takes her medication without fail. Which is great and I’m glad she does. Only the name brand Welbutrin works for her. But there’s 3 ways you combat Bipolar.. 1. Medication 2. Exercise/Good Diet and 3. Quality Therapy

She has a physical job in paint at Home Depot and she eats well when I cook for her, but she’s avoided the therapy. She also blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life. I’ve become the tip of the spear of problems in her life in every way.

During therapy Caroline basically again says she’s truly try in every way but only if I take away sex. Remove it from the table she can start to not resent me and then she’ll be attracted to me again not resentful and maybe she’ll want to.. my counter was as usual she’ll ask for something not deliver what she agreed to do, then blame that on me or another reason so she can just not have to fool around with me at all..

But usually she truly complains about the sex when she’s into another guy with feelings not just her desperation for attention. So I knew.

Had another kidney stone attack that night after therapy… at 2am called 911 because I was weak, in insane pain, and was sweating drenching my bed and nauseous and then dizzy.. and it didn’t pass after 20 minutes by taking meds.. 45 mins later..

They decide at 6am in the ER they want to admit me. My vitals were garbage. Low blood sugar, 95 degree temperature. High blood pressure.. did not get a room upstairs until 5pm.. you read that right spent 15 hours in the ER. Got the room. Spent the night alone.

Get home. She goes to work.

FINANCIAL NOTE OF SIGNFICANCE: We agreed because NEITHER of us can afford to live on our own to stay with the other until we EACH are free of our JOINT and INDIVIDUAL DEBTs incurred while together much of it while she could not work for a year plus while applying for residency in the states.. and she agreed verbally to NOT bail on me without notice that she wouldn’t if she could just leave me high and dry with my car bill especially amongst others and of course she knows I’ll never do that to anyone let alone her.

She tells me shes gonna be late. Yeah.. I go to Popeyes for food, and on my way swing by Home Depot just to see if her car is parked. If it’s not then she’s lied if it is she could still be doing shit but also being honest. She walks out with a guy.. they embrace..

That night she gets home I am actually against my better judgement (I was ready to end it, talked divorce lawyers) willing to say I’ll take the sex off the table. But what I just saw..

She admits she’s got a guy. She’s been actually fucking him for a month on their lunch breaks in their car.

He is married with kids.

He said it was an open marriage.

Found out later she got told by the wife later on nope Reggie in Lumber is a liar and a player.

Caroline of course.. believes Reggie not the wife?

He a week earlier cut things off with her. Why?

She texted him without permission.

Kid had his phone.

Wife found it. They fought.

She still believes Reggie though?

He’s a fat bald Puerto Rican. I don’t think I’m gorgeous but.. wtf? She likes ugly men but whatever. Girls lately with me trade down big time.. in looks and especially everywhere else.

So he tells her he can be friends but only at work.

It’s obvious to me she was willing to work things with me somewhat because he bailed on her.

But then she’s in this manic crazy Caroline obsessed way.. she after a month of knowing him was talking about WAITING FOR HIM. Like, waiting for his kids to GRADUATE from HIGH SCHOOL and move out and so he could then be with Caroline.

Like whaaaaaaat?

We spent all day fighting and arguing.. she actually to her credit shows me the texts.. she sent him nudes, too. Shocker. She’s now got FOUR separate Home Depot guys all of them are her “friends” and all are flirting with her. That’s the extent of her real life friends. These four home depot guys all trying to fuck her. That’s IT.

My name is mentioned in every conversation excessively.

NOT ONCE is the name Brian mentioned in any positive light.

I am not kidding. Like not even Brian grabbed me a drink from the fridge that was nice. Nothing. You would believe I was Hitler’s PR agent.

Apparently everyone at Home Depot knows they are a couple because Lumber is on the other side of the store and they don’t hide it.

I showed up at Home Depot, confronted him, asked if he likes fucking other people’s wives he says really man you wanna bring this to my work, I tried to say YOU brought it to YOUR work, but he blew me off and walked away.

Caroline freaked out.

She asked me after I left if she tries will I keep her? She can’t lose everything.. Panic Panic.. I asked her won’t this be another of her manipulations? She begs me repeatedly not to go back at 7pm to confront him like he offered..

She offered to switch stores..

7 comes and she asks where I am. I said I’m not coming. She asked why. I said she didn’t want me to and she seemed on a meltdown.. so.. She said I can do whatever I like. Then taunted me saying I thought you wanted to confront him man to man, well he’s here waiting.. where are you basically.

WTF??

You begged me NOT to go now you’re TAUNTING ME for listening TO YOU?!?!

I wanted to go. Jesus..

She gets home. He’s talked to her. She stayed late to talk to him. She’s edgy and unhappy. She went from desperate to do anything to keep me and not get kicked out to..

“He told me he’ll do anything for me.”

“He’s going to help me find an apartment.”

“He’s going to get a job promotion and then start helping me pay my rent.”

“I want to do this on my own.”

Uhm, If you go from me where you can leave at anytime and have a foundational support system (we’re a decent team together despite the problems, we work well together) with Thomas and I and you know Twizzler (her cat) LOVES me and my dogs Sam and Dean.. to living in an apartment he finds relying on his money while he still has his wife and kids? He already said his kids are priority.

I read the texts. All she does in the texts is wait around aasking for permission to cum for him. Thinking of him. Missing him. Desperate for him. Wants to please him. Is she allowed to see him today? Is she allowed to text him later? She gets scraps of times from this guy.

She’s pussy in the back seat of his car during lunch.

Why’d she fall in love with me over the 18 months I made her prove herself to me before I got with her....?

I’m an exceptionally good person, I’m always working at bettering myself, I’m interested in much the same music, TV, films, games she is (we played League of Legends together, marathon shows, etc), I love arts/sports and she’s a fan of each.

Why’s she so into him (she told this to a friend)…?

He’s a really good person. He always tries to get better. Likes the same shows/movies. Likes arts more than sports.

They have talked about a future together..

They have not had one 5 hour conversation not actually slept in the same room not actually had a date really.. like what the fuck?

She always blames things failing with me because it changed from the fantasy I was in her head to the reality of living with me.. and that was after months long visits and 6-8 hour skype video calls EVERY night for a year and a half..

It’s why we’re a really good team together.

This is so beyond crazy.

I told her you realize that he lied to you already about the open marriage. He thinks so much of you he fucks you in the backseat during lunch breaks, and you can’t speak to him without permission. You’ll always come behind his kids.

And he’s not leaving his wife nor his kids. He’s the classic married guy. Tell the side piece you’ll leave so she stays, the longer she stays the harder it is to leave, it’s a cycle.. and she’s at the start willing to sign up for it.. if she ends up actually in an apartment under his control relying on his money for rent..

Is that sort of a sex slave thing?

She’s willing to throw this all away for it. It is beyond me.

BTW, she’s willing to go the therapist.. but she says she wants to go to the therapist so she doesn’t ruin things in the next relationship thats her focus.. it’s all centered around this guy. Even the self-help. She also says she can be patient when she needs to. She proved that with me. She waited 18 months.

I ultimately believed her because what kind of psychopath can put on a show for 18 months?

The kind I married.

I’m scared for her.. she’s escaping into a very bad situation this time. Her ex was a good guy. I’m a good guy. This reeks of scary. He acted like a thug and calls her “bbg” baby gurl.

I mean what the fuck yall.

She probably will read this entry.

What advice do you guys have? Honest and sincere advice?

I don’t want to see her hurt or used or fucked over. I will always care about her.

Time to go find my heart.

It’s shattered around here somewhere.

Fuck you, Canada.


❤️vee July 28, 2019

holy moly, I'd say cut her off and let her go. she clearly has no respect for you, after lying and cheating and manipulating, so I would divorce her because she definitely doesn't want to work anything out. she's made her choices and it's not leading to anywhere good for her.

LoveSuicide ❤️vee ⋅ August 03, 2019

You're absolutely right. nods

Work in progress as we speak. Thanks for commenting. <3

❤️vee LoveSuicide ⋅ August 03, 2019

good luck, I'm always here if you want to talk about anything at all =)

LoveSuicide ❤️vee ⋅ August 03, 2019

I am blessed and honored. Thank you. hugs

❤️vee LoveSuicide ⋅ August 03, 2019

❤️

Foofah July 28, 2019

She's manipulating you and isn't putting any honest effort into fixing your relationship. Don't help her out anymore. I understand it will put you in a financial bind, but it's the best thing you can do for yourself and your mental health. Tell her to pack her shit, tell her to leave and file for divorce. You don't owe her anything after the way she's treated you. She didn't make a mistake, these are habits and she's not going to change.

LoveSuicide Foofah ⋅ August 03, 2019

The part that they are habits is painfully clear and absolutely truth. I've discovered that really these situations are what she is comfortable in and comforted with and that's much of what makes it so hard to turn my back. Though it's necessary and I have to shelve the whole save her mentality.

You're right. I really appreciate you taking the time and sharing. It helps.

Deleted user July 28, 2019

Firstly, names...really? It's all messed up. I would suggest making this for friends only or private. Sorry you're hurting man, you need professional therapy I think. Sounds so very terrible.

LoveSuicide Deleted user ⋅ August 03, 2019

My name is all over my ProseBox and we've never hid our identities for years here. I don't see how that would matter.

Lobbastah July 28, 2019 (edited July 28, 2019)

Edited

So I read this earlier, but couldn't comment because I had to get going to work. Now I'm back. My thoughts:

  • You will never change her. You are in control of only you.

  • Disregard what Journey sings and STOP BELIEVIN'! I have known people like her; they will say whatever they think you want to hear. She has done enough to not deserve your trust at this point.

  • Just because you care about someone doesn't mean that they should be part of your life. I have an ex who I will always love, but we were not good for each other. We are simply not supposed to be together.

  • Stand up for yourself and do what's best for you, which isn't to continue to be manipulated. She will continue hurting you for as long as you allow it. I believe it is possible to not be a dick to her and still protect yourself.

LoveSuicide Lobbastah ⋅ August 03, 2019

The bullet point list. <3

You're clearly right and I think the last point is the central one that I have to live by and have been working with in light of everything. Basically, this won't get better, it can somehow I am sure get worse though I know not how but if I stick around I most assuredly will discover how.. It's all a matter of me taking responsibility for my own actions and put myself first.

You're right. I hope you're doing well. I have been absent so long, but thank you for being there. It matters.

masquerade~ July 28, 2019

Completely agree with the notes above me.

Brutally honest thoughts/advice?
DROP HER NOW!! You deserve better. You deserve love, happiness and a true marriage not a lying cheating manipulating asshole who is using you for residency. She is not going to change. The fact that you forgave/was willing to work with her after the first incident just proved to her that she could walk all over you and you wouldn't ever do a thing to stop her and you wouldn't walk away. But you need to WALK AWAY!!
She doesn't deserve you.
You don't treat someone you love the way she's treating you. And while I know it's hard and going to get harder, you need to draw a line in the sand and walk away...debt or not, get away from her ASAP.
Always a PM away Mr Brian

LoveSuicide masquerade~ ⋅ August 03, 2019

Man, how the fuck did I end up here, y'know? You're right though. The whole working at it and letting her walk all over me. No respect there and that was so dumb of me. Though I doubt anything would have been successful even had I not made the many errors I did.

I hope you're doing well. I have been so consumed and ashamed of this that I just haven't really reached out to anyone. Miss you.

A Pedestrian Wandering July 29, 2019

It wouldn't be so painful if you didn't love her, but you just have to cut her loose. You've done your part and need to get past this, you deserve a woman who puts in the same amount of effort you do. and she will never be that woman. A great woman is just waiting out there for you to be done with this part of your life.

LoveSuicide A Pedestrian Wandering ⋅ August 03, 2019

This was both wonderful and painful to read, but you're speaking the truth and that's definitely what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for your time and thoughts. You help. I hope you're having a wonderful weekend.

A Pedestrian Wandering LoveSuicide ⋅ August 03, 2019

Not that I am the best at this but sometime you just have to rip off the band-aid. Wishing you strength and courage.

DevilishlyInnocent July 29, 2019

First of all, it's YOUR diary. You write whatever the fuck you want.

Secondly, this really doesn't surprise me.

Third, it's not exclusively a "bipolar" thing. I don't cheat. Fuck that crap. That's like looking for something else to blame instead of the person.

And finally, you can always text or call me. You have my number.

Now that's all out of the way: I'm sure I wasn't the only one who warned you.

"Tell the side piece you’ll leave so she stays, the longer she stays the harder it is to leave, it’s a cycle.. and she’s at the start willing to sign up for it..."

And you're doing the same thing. You're in an abusive relationship and she knows it. She's completely capitalizing on it because she knows she can. She knows you're a pushover, she knows she broke you and can use you as she sees fit. It's the best of both worlds, yanno? You were in the hospital, she probably took dude back and fucked him all over your place. But, you're paying the bills. While keeping your word is important, she broke hers first, which is grounds for divorce. He can pay to keep her around. Let it go and get into individual therapy.

This is only continuing because YOU want it around. If not? Kick her ass out. SHE broke HER word. She's an adult, she makes her own choices. Same as you, YOU are keeping this crap in your life. No judgment, but do you like it? Is this a masochistic thing? Or are you pulling a you-know-who??

And the reason I can say all this shit? Because I'm the Goddess of Bad Decisions and Mistakes, so I know insane when I see it.

BUT, BIG HUGS. Regardless, I still have love for you. You can ask for all the advice you want, but until you actually move forward, it's not going to help you. Only YOU have the power to change your life for the better.

LoveSuicide DevilishlyInnocent ⋅ August 03, 2019

Definitely writing whatever the fuck I want, lol. You're the best. <3

It doesn't surprise you? Really? I remember going with her and collecting some sand to send you, and it seems so long ago and so foreign. That person, really.

Definitely not a bipolar thing. How she manages her bipolar and her own personal decisions leads to her choices. She takes medication and thinks that's enough. She's never been truly serious about her healthcare. I think she's finally starting to realize that, or it could be more bullshit. I've never met anyone who lies so much.

Thank you. I may well do that. I've been so consumed, exhausted, and ashamed of all of this that I sort of retreat within myself. Man, I thought I met some fucking crazy people in my life.. and hell, you know some of the batshit crazy people I have met. I don't think anyone bests her in that category. It's so depressing.

Especially since I've never done as much for anyone than I have for her.

You're right. The reason I kept her in my life was to save her from herself and not wanting to be the one that quits on her when everyone does, but frankly she makes them quit. She wants them to quit. And at this point how do I not reward her with quitting, y'know?

I'm working at making the changes. Divorce. And getting back to caring about myself. I wish I had some fucking clues before she moved here, but I confess she's as good as it gets with being what she thinks you want until she has what she wants. For such a long time, too. Impressive as it is fucked up and horrible.

You've been on my mind. hugs

Hope today has been a better day with the pain and the bullshit. You're the best.

Athena July 29, 2019

She is mentally ill and toxic for you. Separate from her and work on healing yourself.

LoveSuicide Athena ⋅ August 03, 2019

You are right and I am at work doing that right now. Thank you for taking the time. It all helps.

Soulshine July 30, 2019

I get why you feel some attachment but how much more abuse can you take? You can work on your credit and debt living separately, because this is crazy and she continues to do the same thing over and over and not ever work to do better. She doesn't want to have sex with you because she is having sex with others and seems to be using you. Get out of this, you're much better off alone! Too much drama. Agree with the noter above, read this as if someone else has written it, what advice would you give them?

LoveSuicide Soulshine ⋅ August 03, 2019

You could not be any more right, and the last point is such a perfect illustrator of how crazy we can convince ourselves to be when the truth is so plain and obvious just not something we wish to face.

Not anymore is the answer to how much more I can take, and so I'm working at separating for good. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. Everything helps.

Parallax. July 30, 2019

I know I've told you what I think about this whole thing before, but just to reiterate: You can not fix her. Let her go, so that you can find someone who actually cares about you.

LoveSuicide Parallax. ⋅ August 03, 2019

You pretty much have forecast every single aspect of this for a long time. I am fortunate to have your wisdom, and I'm working on translating that into action. <3 You're the best.

Deleted user July 30, 2019

Run.

LoveSuicide Deleted user ⋅ August 03, 2019

Truth.

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