An Update I guess in 2019 Amazing Stories!

Its been a few weeks since I’ve last written I think. Lots to say, don’t where to start lol.

I’ve seen my therapist again since resuming therapy with her. This time I did press her further about whether or not she thought I might be on the “High Functioning” end of the autism spectrum (i.e. the very mild form) like the psychotic therapist thought (this was the one thing that said that actually took interest in my brain before she completely ruined her credibility). At first my current therapist was very “Switzerland” with her answer. I kind of just jumped right to that question right away, and I don’t think she was expecting that, and she countered my question with “well what are your thoughts on it? what research have you done? Do you agree with what you’ve read?” So I told her my thoughts, the research I’ve done, and then redirected the question back at her.

She said it was worth looking into and agrees with the Sensory Processing Disorder “diagnosis”. But Sensory Processing Disorder isn’t an actual diagnosis in the DSM 5 yet, although there has been a proposal to include it. So clinically speaking, I can’t be like “I have Sensory Processing Disorder”. It is like the “introductory” area/stage before being placed on the spectrum. She said if I was seriously interested in finding out if I’m on the spectrum at all, I’d need to undergo testing (not an online test like psychotic lady directed me towards “where I’d need to enter HER email address otherwise I’d be charged for it) that is done either under the care of a neuropsychologist or I could apply for waitlist testing with the Autism Center at the University of Washington, which is the biggest testing center in all of Washington state. I’m kind of leaning towards the UW option. It isn’t super urgent and all of the neuropsychologists in my area that I’m finding in my area (or surrounding area) online are super duper old men and a few super old women. One lady I found on my insurance company’s website is 84 (!!!!!) AND STILL PRACTICING. I’m totally age biased at this point and am willing to admit to it. Nobody at the doctorate level needs to be practicing at 84 yrs old in my opinion. Judge me for my judgeyness. I do not care. I get some people keep practicing “for fun” and not out of necessity, buuuut a person’s brain has natural deterioration over time, and I’m not comfortable with an 84 yr old female or male brain assessing my brain.

Other than that, I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. Because when I’m not keeping myself busy, I get overwhelming feelings of loneliness and the downward spiral starts, which I have a hard time stopping even when I know its happening. This past Saturday I went on a paddling trip with a friend. She might hate me now though. Kidding, sort of. Out of the 20+ people who registered and attended this 8.5 mile paddling event, only myself/her/one other person completed it on Stand Up Paddleboards. Everyone else completed it in kayaks. We were so exhausted at the end, but WE DID IT.

I’m taking my car to the dealership before work tomorrow. Its been going through oil like crazy. I got an oil change exactly 2 weeks ago and when I checked the dip stick this morning it was bone dry. They’ve been claiming they can’t spot a leak, but if I go back tomorrow, 15 days after the last oil change, with a bone dry dipstick, they can’t remain in denial that there’s either A) not a leak or B) something wrong with the engine causing it to consume an insane amount of oil very quickly. My engine is under full warranty for only about 6,000 more miles, so I’m feeling slightly stressed about it and annoyed that we as humans depend on vehicles so much.

Last updated July 16, 2019