Breakup & Dependant in Personal Journal

  • July 11, 2019, 7:29 a.m.
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  • Public

So, my girlfriend broke up with me. I shouldn’t have gotten so attached, so excited to have someone who truly loved me for me.

I was angry, really really angry. She led me on for a week knowing she didn’t love me. Said she wanted to get married and wanted a family together. She didn’t even love girls. My heart was ripped into shreds, I started shaking and i never got out of bed the rest of the night. I just cried until it sort of stopped hurting, like anyone would in my place.

So I ran to my best friend who happened to be my ex and i clung to him. I was so happy, he loves me so he won’t get sick of me right? I won’t be seen as dependant or clingy, not with him. He won’t tell me to back off.

I was so wrong. So very wrong.

‘Listen, I’m here for you alright but don’t depend on me a lot. I mean I don’t mind it but I feel like you need someone to love in your life so you can focus on stuff.’

It hurt seeing that last night, from the boy i only felt safe with. To throw me away like that, I stared at it in shock my heart beating harder and harder. Then I went to sleep, feeling so heart broken i didn’t even want to speak.

NotAGhostWriter July 11, 2019

If he didn't want the responsibility of being your go to then he should have been man enough to not allow it in the first place. I hope that you are able to find peace and can move on from both situations. ((hug))

HoniBunnyCakey NotAGhostWriter ⋅ July 11, 2019

((hugs back)) thanks, it's all very confusing, he just recently said I can move out of my bad home situation to stay with him but now this makes me doubt his words :( time will tell ig

NotAGhostWriter HoniBunnyCakey ⋅ July 11, 2019

I had a psychic once tell me, "Been there, done that. Leave the past in the past." I don't know that moving in with him would be the best move, anyway. I don't know him but from what he said in your post, it doesn't seem like it would be the best situation.

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