shelf. in Drifter in Zion

My first endowment session, I thought, “Hm. So, I am in a cult. Interesting,” which was followed by a family lunch at Texas Roadhouse, and ten plus years of denial.

Mormons are great at denial. We know how to keep clean-pressed with Stepford smiles, while putting any concern or doubt (or both) on a shelf in the back of our mind. When the shelf inevitably buckles, one of two things happens: we build another shelf, made stronger by prayer, scripture study, and massive guilt, or we gather up our concerns and doubts, and do a really dumb and dangerous thing: we look for answers.

I asked to be released from my calling.

I don’t think we’ll stop going all at once. It’ll be a slow fade. The kids are little. They enjoy nursery and primary, where most teachings are benign.

But one day they’ll have questions.

One day they’ll want answers.

I might not have the answers.

But I’ll be damned if they build a shelf.

Last updated July 08, 2019