never have. in Drifter in Zion

  • July 2, 2019, 1:11 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

For much of my life, I’ve been afraid to speak my mind, because I was (still am in many ways) a people pleaser. I don’t want to step on toes, rock the boat, or burst a bubble, so to speak. And I apologize for everything. Everything. Including apologizing for.. apologizing.

One of the best things about S is he’s arrantly himself. He doesn’t owe anyone an explanation for being who he is: he just lives; life under the weight of other people’s expectations is just too hard, too much, and simply exhausting.

Yet.

The biggest reason I haven’t left the church is because of the discomfort or sadness I’ll cause other people, mostly family. I worry I’ll spend my life tiptoeing around their feelings. I’ll bow to their delicate sensibilities about heaven and hell, and quietly spume in my own disbelief.

Except I can’t.

If it was just me…

If my life was my own…

We don’t want to raise the kids in the church.

I want them to be free - truly free to make up their minds, to follow their hearts about life’s oddities and unknowns. I want them to view the world as beautiful and wondrous and curious, not ugly and wholly sinful and crude.

I want them to love people from all walks of life.

I want them to know religion doesn’t make someone a good person. Good people are found all about us, and they can believe anything or nothing.

I want them to find their voice and use it, the way I never have.


Loading comments...

You must be logged in to comment. Please sign in or join Prosebox to leave a comment.