it is hard to move forward when your strongest personality trait is self deprecation
tomorrow I will turn 26
I don’t know where I expected to be at this age
was I supposed to be married? Have kids? Figure out my career?
I haven’t made it to any of those points yet
I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years
and I have completed my first year of grad school
I should be working on a portfolio to send to a future employer but I am crippled by self doubt
nothing is good enough
I often feel still that I am not good enough
I am not ME enough
I oscillate between bursting with energy and impatience and being exhausted
both for no apparent reason
sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder whether I am vain or confident
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