Find a person who makes you feel empowered. Invincible. Undoubtedly loved, admired, and respected. Desired is pretty fucking nice, too. Find a person that, no matter how hard you look at them, you can’t find flaw with, a person you can accept, 110%, no questions asked. A person you can love unconditionally and who loves you unconditionally in return.
Never stay with a person who makes you wonder if you should stay with them. Never stay because you’re invested or whatever. That’s ridiculous. If you bought a house and it slowly sunk into the mud, would you just sit around in a mud puddle and say, “Well, I invested in it, so…” No. You’d sell that shit for a nickel and get the fuck out.
Don’t sit around in puddles of mud hoping they clean themselves up is what I’m saying. Because they never do. Don’t sit around waiting for your life to get better, for things to change around you while you stay the same and expect that to work out in your favor. Don’t blame your bullshit on someone else. If you have someone in your life that you feel deserves some of the blame for your own bad behavior or depression or anxiety or whatever, get that person the fuck out of your life. I assure you that the return on that “investment” will be 10x more than you’d ever expect. You aren’t losing something, you see? You’ve already lost it. The time spent, the emotional resources. They’re gone and you’re never getting them back so let go, cut the dead weight, and move on.
Whatever you do, don’t stop moving on, and don’t stop finding beauty in an ugly world. If you take the time, invest the time, into seeking out beauty and love and light, you’ll see that the ugly world is a whole lot easier to deal with. When you allow yourself to seek out and surround yourself with kind, giving, loving people, when you allow yourself to shut out the unkind, selfish, toxic people, you’ll find that the ugly world actually holds a lot more beauty than you’ve imagined.
Don’t stay friends with someone because they were good to you once. What matters is, are they good to you now? Are they good for you? If they aren’t, perhaps you’d feel happier and healthier not allowing that person into your inner circle anymore. They can be within your range of experience, but they do not get to be the focal point. They can be in your peripheral vision but don’t let them come any closer. Just because someone was good to you once, or was there when you needed them, doesn’t mean they will remain that person. Everything and everyone changes, sometimes drastically and sometimes subtly. It also doesn’t mean that you owe them in some way. True good deeds should be free, without condition, without expected payment. Being kind isn’t a contract. It should be freely given. And you can still be a kind person while not allowing someone to hurt you. Be kind to yourself, first and foremost.
Don’t stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Either stand up for yourself or walk away, but don’t stay in toxic places. I’m a super kind, giving person. I’m all about teamwork. I have fantastic co-workers, for the most part. I always give my all to my team, try to set an example, and be firm while kind. We do great work together and share a mutual respect. If there is someone present that is sowing discontent among my team, I should speak up or bow out. That’s just how I feel about it. If I’m not brave enough to speak up, I should at least have the courage to say, “I can’t handle this,” and walk away. I’m pretty sure I’m going to make the brave choice in the very near future and it could have a tremendous impact on whether or not my life changes dramatically or not. At this point, there is no negative outcome for me. I’m fine with however things go down when I finally decide to stand up for myself and go to my bosses and talk to them about this toxic-ass person I have to work with 6 days a week for a minimum of 6 hours most days.
So, it’s late, I have pneumonia, I should be sleeping, and these are just a few of the thoughts rolling around my skull.