apointment recap in 2019 Amazing Stories!

I ended up taking the entire day off from work yesterday. A mental health day present to myself. I rarely do this, so when I actually allow myself to play hooky, it feels like a big deal lol. But I have the time off, and last night was my first return therapy session with my old therapist, so i figured “what the heck, dedicate the entire day to mental health”. According to my coworkers it was a super slow day yesterday anyway, so I feel no guilt attached to my decision.

The session went well. I did mention I wasn’t overly thrilled with how things were temporarily ended (via e-mail, sudden, no heads up) and that the stories I received from her and her old place were different. Her e-mail said it was completely unexpected and her old place said it happened a lot sooner than expected and that she was able to tell some people in person, but not everyone (so it couldn’t have been COMPLETELY unexpected). So i did mention all that. She had no idea what they were telling people.

I brought up the bizarre situation with the in-between therapist so that she could further understand my trust issues and why I feel like I’m kind of starting all over with rebuilding myself. I didn’t tell her that I reported that therapist to the department of health because I didn’t want to freak her out. I really am not a quick-to-report person, but that therapist legitimately should not be practicing. Which my therapist agreed with.

I also brought up how that therapist basically diagnosed me with Sensory Processing Disorder/High Functioning Autism during the very first appointment and how that therapist was surprised that my therapist had never mentioned that before. While speaking to my therapist, I was like “she gave me a new diagnosis that you’ve mentioned before so I don’t know if it was ever on your radar but if it was, you never mentioned it” because I wanted to see her reaction when I told her what it was. She kept a poker face, which I think means she agrees. She also said it was a possibility. She definitely did not dismiss the idea at all. I told her I didn’t know what to believe because she turned out to be a crazy lady so I couldn’t trust any diagnoses that she gave me.

So I’m going to press that issue further during the next appointment now that it seems to be a possibility and why she never said anything. Was it a self-confidence thing? Like did she think telling me that those were possible diagnoses would lower my already low self-confidence? Or that I would feel shame or something else? Y’all, I get that I’m socially awkward, I get that ish 100%. Maybe getting the diagnoses/label would actually give me some sort of understanding/validation of why I am the way I am.

But I had soooooo much to unload yesterday that I could only press certain items for so long before moving to the next topic of discussion/unloading. I don’t think she’s ever seen me talk so much.

At her old place she didn’t accept my insurance, so I only was seeing her once a month. MAYBE she feels bad though about my last three months or MAYBE she sees the benefit of accepting my insurance (I flat out told her that if she was in-network with my insurance I would 100% see her more than once a month) . In terms of benefitting her, it would fill up her schedule more, she could charge whatever she wanted, but I’d only be responsible for my copay, and I’d actually be spending less per month overall for more visits. It sounds like she’s seen the light and is going to try to get credentialed with my insurance. My insurance carrier isn’t even one of the small companies either, and when I told her that the psycho therapist got paid really quickly for the fraudulent claim that she filed, I think that helped. Ya know, knowing that the claim got processed super quickly. She was shocked though that that therapist did that. She’s like “You can’t do that! You can lose your license for that!” and I was like “I know, but she did it anyway after trying to bill me for a session I never agreed to.”

She did tell me that she signed a 4 year contract with this new place. SO hopefully that doesn’t mean I’ll be going through all of this again a year from now.

What a shit show, though.

Last updated June 11, 2019