I saw a comment on a Facebook post that said something like, “I’m not straight but my partner is.” That hit me right in the feels because that has been every relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m bisexual, though I’ve also been classified as pansexual, which probably suits me better. Every man I’ve ever been with was 100% straight.
Now I can say, “My partner is poly and I am not.” I think the thing I’m feeling that I was having trouble identifying is a profound level of acceptance on my part, a level of acceptance that surpasses anything I would have believed possible in my previous life. A level of acceptance that creates a sort of cognitive dissonance because I was not the sort of person who was open to that kind of freedom in a relationship. And really, that’s just silly. Does a part of me want all of your love all to myself? Yeah, totally. I’m a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them and yeah, I fantasize about being domestic with you. Little things, like eating food you cooked for me, or watching a TV show all snuggled up together. I really want that to be a thing. I want a lot of things to be a thing.
The most important thing that is a thing is that I love you in such a way that demands acceptance of all that you are. I love all that you are, every little thing about you. You are overflowing with love and beauty and light and I would never dare to attempt to shield that from the world, hoarding it all for myself. Of all the things I’ve ever been, I don’t believe that “selfish” was ever one.