May. 20. 2019 in Process of a Brokenhearted Woman

I can’t even begin to explain how amazing this week-weekend has been.
Man.. I have been keeping myself BUSY. And it feels SO NICE. It really, truly does.
To see someone and have plans everyday is new for me but it’s so good. I’m not complaining at all. Monday I was able to hang out with my family, Tuesday I was SUPPOSED to hang out with a friend but ended up going to an amazing life group, Wednesday I hung out with some of the girls, Thursday I went to another life group, Friday I hung out with another friend and went shopping with my family, Saturday I went to another life group and it was SO AMAZING. Such a great experience. Sunday I had church events, hanging out with friends and more church involved.
And the word that was given (in both services) was basically telling me that it IS OKAY to cut TOXIC people out of your life. And as much as I wish you could be in it, there are signs EVERYWHERE telling me to stay away..
I want you to be apart of these things.
I hate that I miss you so much.. I hate that you won’t even talk to me.
I hate that you’re drinking almost everyday.. I wonder why you’re drinking so much when you’re getting exactly what you want. No me, or our daughter, your space, focus on your school, good grades, freedom to do what you want, your friends.. You got everything. Why aren’t you happy? Or at least.. why are you putting that you’re struggling, why are you constantly drinking the night away?
I want to see you. I truly want to see you so bad.
I wonder how you’re doing.
COME ON GIRL, HE DOESN’T WANT YOU IN HIS LIFE.
Why can’t I get that through my head..?
My family and I miss you punkass.
But none of us want you back as anything other than a friend.
Yet.. you keep burning all the bridges that there are left to burn.