May. 13. 2019 in Process of a Brokenhearted Woman

You son of a bitch.
You took her on a date. And you didn’t just take her anywhere. You took her to OUR spot. You took her to OUR first date. You took her and flaunted it for everyone to see. You took a picture of her and made it visible for everyone to know that you were on a date.
I checked your location.. You had been out at the gym and then went to our spot and I wondered.. “it can’t be by accident that you’re there, unless you’re wallowing or there with someone”. And there it was. You posted her on your snapchat.
Everyone said that it was disrespectful that you did that.
However, everyone also knows you don’t care.
It shocks me how much respect I’m losing for you on a daily basis.
I knew I’d start to fall out of love.
I knew I’d start to realize that I CAN breathe without talking to you or seeing you.
I knew I’d eventually be able to get through my days without you being there all the time.
But I didn’t think I was going to lose the amount of respect that I have. It’s crazy.. I really feel like if I see your face, I would want to literally punch it or slap the shit out of it. But to be honest, that’s too much energy. Especially on you. You don’t deserve that kind of energy from me. You don’t deserve any energy from me. You’re such an ass.
All I can do is pray for you. And that is about as much energy as you will get from me.
You’re not my problem any more monkey boy.
Not my monkey, not my circus.
I don’t deserve to stress over you. You drain me out emotionally and mentally.
You don’t deserve my forgiveness either.. and to be honest I haven’t forgiven you yet.
But I know I will because I deserve it.
YOU don’t. But I do.
I deserve to be at peace when I hear your name or see something you’re doing. Or if we talk.
I haven’t gotten there, but I will.
You’re such an ass.
You treat me like this because I allow it, and I don’t allow it anymore.

Last updated May 15, 2019